Behind Blue Eyes
by paperstylehearts
Summary: Kurt is a renowned criminal psychologist who finds himself awakening as a patient in the very institute he works at with no memory of the murder he's been accused of. Loosely based on the film Gothika.
1. The Princess of Lima State

BEHIND BLUE EYES

A gLee fan fiction by _paperstylehearts_

**WARNINGS**: This glee-centric fan fiction is based on a psychological thriller film. As a result, this work of fiction is NOT for the faint of heart. If you are not comfortable reading about infidelity, murder, violence, horror, insinuated child abuse, rape, character death and any and all themes prevalent relating to the film Gothika (starring Halle Berry, 2003) then: PLEASE DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER.

**Rated M** for a reason, folks! This fic will also contain bad language and violence BUT STILL BE WITHIN FF GUIDELINES.

**Disclaimer: **This is a work of fan fiction. I do not own or have any association with Glee or the film Gothika. This story is purely fictional and any similarities related to real persons are purely coincidental. No money is being made from this project.

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**Author's Note: **So I've had this idea in my head for a while and while I know it might not be everyone's thing, I think I've made it pretty clear in the warnings already. Special thanks to **Cloud Green** for her valuable input and time in agreeing to beta and **CountingCrow16 **for her endless encouragement in me.

The title of the story comes from the song _Behind Blue Eyes_ by Limp Bizkit which was released specifically for the film, Gothika.

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Chapter One

The Princess of Lima State

~.~

Sebastian Smythe might have been a number of things but even Kurt Hummel couldn't deny the fact that he was probably the best lawyer that Ohio had to offer. Having left his father's firm and started his own, he was fast making a name for himself. He wasn't one to take on too many cases; he hired his own lawyers to do that for him. So when he approached Kurt - who had been a criminal psychologist for over a year now - to ask for Kurt's help with a client who attended the same hospital Kurt worked in, Kurt had hastily made an appointment to meet him.

"Thank you for meeting with me today," Kurt greeted warmly, eyeing the well dressed man before him in his Armani suit. "I'm so sorry I had to keep rescheduling. I really appreciate you seeing me on such short notice."

Unfortunately, as Kurt had become increasingly busy with his own patients, he'd been forced to reschedule quite often with Sebastian. As it turned out, Kurt was also very good at what he did; he was the best in his field and Lima State was only one of the hospitals he frequented. Many demanded his time and expertise so much so that he was also on an appointment only schedule.

"The pleasure's all mine, Doctor H," the man returned with a smile, "Can I offer you some coffee?"

Sebastian's secretary had waved him in and that was how Kurt soon found himself in the top office of the law firm. It was immaculate; Sebastian had his gay showing because it was also very tastefully decorated. But décor was the last thing on his mind when the two shook hands.

"Yes, that would be great… non fat mocha please."

Sebastian smiled, "Non fat? Really? But why would you need to watch your figure?"

"Watch your flattery, Smythe," Kurt warned, smiling dangerously back, "I'm a married man."

Sebastian bowed his head shortly, "My apologies." The smirk on his face could have indicated that he wasn't in fact sorry at all. But Kurt sounded like he already knew this.

"No need to apologize, Smythe. You're a lawyer, not a miracle worker. "

Sebastian smiled but remained silent as he handed Kurt his coffee; he was mesmerized by the piercing stare Kurt had left him in return. "I hope you're the miracle worker in this equation Doc - because one of us will have to be if we're going to be working together to clear Santana Lopez."

Kurt nodded, taking a deep sip of his chocolate coffee. He had already been briefed quickly about Santana Lopez. A troubled girl, she had been at Lima State for a few months now and Kurt was finding it hard not to feel guilty that he hadn't really known of her case until he had found out that Sebastian was her lawyer.

"I really hope you're right about her," he told Sebastian softly, "and that she does stand a fighting chance. Please tell me that you becoming her lawyer didn't have anything to do with her family's bank account or the money they could potentially put into yours?" Kurt placed his hand tentatively on the manila folder in front of him contemplating the file within it while Sebastian stared at him in earnest.

"This is just another case, Doc," he said," and that's exactly how I'm treating it. You can't tell me you're not working on it for that same reason, right? Are you in?"

Kurt opened the cover of the folder and looked down in front of him at the photo of the Latina girl in the orange jumpsuit. Her hair was a mess and her eyes were dark and heavy but there was something else there…

"What can I say, Smythe? I enjoy a challenge."

Sebastian got his briefcase together and escorted Kurt to his door, "And you're the best chance we all have of getting her out. So on that note, let's get you to the psych ward."

* * *

The Lima State Hospital was a security treatment facility for both male and female psychiatric patients. Its clientele consisted of those who had committed criminal offences and were either admitted by the Department of Mental Health of Ohio or under the authority of an appointed guardian. Santana Lopez was admitted by her grandmother after she had told her Abuela that she had started "seeing and doing things that the Devil made her do." The last act of which, involved her admitting to the murder of her cousin.

As it was winter, the clouds hung low above them as they headed into the car. Kurt tightened his scarf and quickly rang Blaine to let him know he was on his way to work but the phone rang through.

_Hi, you've reached Blaine Anderson. I'm currently unavailable right now so please leave your name and number after the tone._

"Hi Blaine, it's me. I'm not going to be able to meet you tonight. I have a prior commitment at work that will have me staying overtime. There's no reception at Lima State so just text me when you get this and l will let you know later tonight when I'm on the way to the house." Kurt could feel Sebastian's eyes on him as he ended the call. "What?" he asked determined to look anywhere else but at Sebastian. He settled for keeping his determined gaze out the window.

Sebastian shrugged, "Nothing. You just seemed very formal with him, that's all."

"He's at work Sebastian," Kurt explained, "What if he listens to the message in front of his boss - on loud speaker? I'm trying not to make things difficult for him."

Sebastian's mind, however, was elsewhere. "You just called me Sebastian. Does this mean we're on a first name basis now?"

Kurt didn't reply. Instead he took out Santana Lopez's file and began flicking through it. Sebastian left him alone but they had soon reached the hospital and were quickly authorized to be allowed inside.

As a criminal psychologist, Kurt worked in a few hospitals. But there was something that drew him to Lima State. Most of his patients resided here so, as Blaine never failed to remind him, it was like it was his second home. The structure of the hospital left Kurt with some comfort too. It was a lot better maintained than some of the others he visited. The other thing Kurt loved was that he had his own office here. Rows and rows of books stood on a shelf, and he loved his prized laptop sitting on top of the mahogany desk Kurt had insisted on because, well, it was _mahogany._ It was a beautiful hospital, a very serene place, and if it wasn't for his broad range of patients that he visited everywhere else, Kurt would have loved to be stationed here permanently. He quickly deposited his belongings in his office and then followed Sebastian and two hospital staff to the locked cell where Santana had been left temporarily to meet with them.

When Sebastian asked Santana how she was doing Kurt wasn't surprised when Santana didn't reply. She didn't even look up at him when he spoke; she was staring far off into space as if her troubled thoughts prevented her from immediate speech. When Kurt drew closer, Sebastian quickly came up with a new approach.

"Santana, this is Dr. Hummel. I brought him in today so you two could meet, maybe talk some things through? He's here to help you."

Her fingers that had been lying flat on the table loosely clenched into a fist but Santana still didn't say anything. Without waiting for an invitation, Kurt took the seat in front of her, switching straight into work mode.

"Hi, Santana. You can call me Kurt. Seb and I, we're going to get you out of here, but first I need you to trust me. Do you think you can do that?"

Santana's gaze finally met Kurt's and he made it a point to not turn away. He needed her to know that he was listening, even if he had to communicate this to her through his eyes. Looking at her, he saw the same call for liberation he'd seen in her photo except this time, in person, it was solidified, tangible even. Kurt studied her face carefully, trying to build her profile whilst making mental notes he'd store away for a report later.

"Trust me," he repeated softly.

Santana snickered. It was the first noise she had made in days. Then she did something she hadn't done in weeks. She leant forward, edging ever so close to him, and spoke. Her voice was determined, even if she was whispering. But there was a hint of sadness in it too. "You have no idea what it feels like not to be trusted."

Kurt's expression softened. Actually, he knew _exactly_ how that felt but he wasn't going to tell her that. Instead he said, "You can trust me, Santana."

She stared at him, ever so hesitant before she spoke again with her voice shaking, stuttering almost. "How can you trust someone who thinks you're crazy?" Her voice sounded broken, faraway, but Kurt understood more about her in that moment than he had the whole time he'd been perusing her file.

"I didn't say you were crazy."

"You didn't have to. You remind me of my Abuela. She thought I was crazy too."

Kurt paused. "Because you're in love with Brittany Pierce."

It was a statement, not a question, but the name provoked Santana into a frenzy of speech and she laughed him off. "Listen, Lady Face. I don't care how many times you've taken it up the ass, don't for one second think that means you can analyze me with your psychologist bullshit."

"Santana!" Sebastian objected, but Kurt interrupted.

"It's okay, Seb. Santana… this is good. You're making progress. This is the most you've said in days - weeks even. I am really proud and honored with your decision to talk to me."

He wasn't startled at all by the reaction she showed him. Santana raised her middle finger at Kurt, smiling sarcastically. "Fuck you. You're pathetic. You're the kind of kid who probably irons his underwear for work, am I right?"

Kurt refused to answer. This wasn't high school. She was his patient and he knew that if he continued to be accommodating with her that would aggravate her into speaking more, and - as she was someone who hadn't spoken in days - that was exactly what he needed her to do.

She took the bait. "You've probably also tried to suck your own dick too."

Kurt didn't hesitate this time. "Did the Devil tell you that?" he asked, and quite unlike his usual self, he wasn't sarcastic about it.

"The Devil tells me lots of things. I'm his dirty Angel. I'm his dirty fucked up Angel."

"When was the last time he spoke to you?"

It seemed like Santana was about to withdraw again but then she showed him her recently acquired sarcastic smirk of hers. "Last night. When he came into my bed to fuck me. He's usually so careful but not last night. Last night he was too rough."

As soon as she said it, the power went out. It was only for a split second, but when it came back on the first thing Kurt noticed was that Sebastian was tapping his watch, implying only one thing.

"I think we've done enough for today," Kurt told Santana, though they had barely scraped the surface of what he really wanted to talk through together. "But I will see you again on Monday. In the meantime, just try and get some sleep, okay?"

At Sebastian's approval, two nurses came to help Santana out of her seat, but she held her arms length out in protest, her eyes never leaving Kurt's until she strode in front of the hospital staff and strut down the hallway, as if Lima State was her castle and she was its princess.

* * *

**A/N: So what do you think? Worth continuing? Please review!**


	2. Set Fire to the Rain

BEHIND BLUE EYES

By paperstylehearts

**Warnings: **Fiction Rated **M** – See FF for details.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Glee or Gothika.

**A/N: **Special thanks to my bestie **CountingCrow16**. Your faith in me is inspiring and one of the biggest reasons I find to keep writing this. Thank you!

* * *

Chapter Two

_Set Fire to the Rain_

It was already dark by the time Kurt and Sebastian returned to Kurt's office. Kurt had spent the rest of the day with his other patients and Sebastian had clients he had to visit too. They both only realized they had time to work together again after almost colliding into each other in the hospital's hallway. They had made the decision then that it was time to work on the Lopez report.

"So…" Sebastian said as they settled into Kurt's office. Kurt already had his Mac open and was furiously typing away the notes he had brainstormed this morning, his fingers flying all over the keys.

"Hmm?" Kurt asked, not bothering to look up. The photo of Santana seemed to be staring at him from within the manila folder and he was glad it was safely in there. As professionally permitted as possible, he had genuinely given all his attention to his other patients without distraction - but that hadn't stopped him from thinking of Santana all day.

"What do you think, Doc?" Sebastian asked, "Is she a lost cause?"

Kurt actually had to pause what he was in the middle of so that he could answer this question properly. He still wasn't quite looking at Sebastian though.

"She's a mess," Kurt confirmed, ignoring the way Sebastian's body seemed to grieve at the result, "But not a lost cause."

Sebastian nodded, relieved at Kurt's confidence which in turn was making Kurt feel a little uneasy. "No one is a lost cause, Sebastian, no matter how much of a mess they are."

Thankfully, Sebastian seemed to agree. "Hey, I get it! And I completely trust that you know what you're doing. I would have bought some other shrink in here if I didn't have so much faith in you." As he said this, Sebastian took out his own laptop from his briefcase. "Doc, what's your wireless password? I need to start downloading files from the firm."

Kurt handed him the paper with the code silently and the two men worked in peace. The only noise that could be heard was the rain that had started to fall outside and was now beating down against the roof and horizontally at the windows. It had been doing that since mid-afternoon and did not look like it was going to clear up anytime soon. As it was both December and the beginning of winter time in Lima, it was also coincidentally the wettest month of the season and was being uncharacteristically more ruthless tonight than last month in November. That didn't hinder Kurt from his work though.

"Done!" he exclaimed out loud when he was happy with what he had produced, "How are you getting along?"

"On the Lopez report? Oh, I finished that ages ago. I've been doing some research."

"On?"

"Manhattan… chances are, if we win this case Hummel, we could join forces and take over New York. People would be lining up to pay us. Manhattan is crawling with types just like Santana Lopez."

Kurt rolled his eyes, "Really? You're seriously going to start on that again? I've already turned down several job offers, FYI. I'm staying here."

Sebastian sighed. He looked frustrated but he was clearly not ready to give up just yet. "Is this because of Blaine? He's holding you back, you know."

"I'm not talking about this!" Kurt said flatly holding his hands up in protest and was grateful when Sebastian agreed to let it go. But if Kurt was being honest with himself, working in New York would be… _nice_. The thing was, he was too comfortable here in Lima – though he'd never thought he'd admit it - and he was never stuck in one place too long anyway, providing him some sort of freedom from monotony.

He listlessly distracted himself from his thoughts by checking the time. It was getting late. And speaking of Blaine, it was becoming impossible to get in touch with him. Blaine wasn't on Google chat. He wasn't picking up his cell when Kurt tried to use the office phone to call him. Kurt didn't even have any idea if he had got his message this morning because his own cell had no reception inside the hospital so he couldn't check if Blaine had replied to it. At least he knew Blaine was safe because when he had called Blaine's work to speak to him, they had asked to take a message because Blaine was busy.

Blaine was _always_ busy.

Kurt knew he would be hypocritical to judge Blaine for it but it felt like high school all over again – almost like Blaine was avoiding him and keeping distant.

The lights flickered dangerously on and off inside the office which prompted Sebastian to look up and notice Kurt's unease.

"You okay?" he asked gently.

"Yeah," Kurt answered, lying. "It's just the power keeps going off in the west wing a lot."

Sebastian had to hold himself back from grinning. "So you're confessing to what? That you're afraid of the dark? That's not very shrink appropriate."

"My confession is I don't want to have to claim insurance because a power outage corrupted my computer. Everyone's afraid of something. Except maybe you. Lawyers don't have souls after all…"

"Ooh, that's a little harsh, Hummel! Even from you."

"Well, I'm an honest person; can you blame me for speaking the truth?"

A page from Kurt's director to meet him in his office ended the light teasing with Sebastian.

"You might as well come with," Kurt insisted, "I'm locking up now."

They made their way to the next office down the hall where Dr. Schuester was on the phone to his wife. He smiled brightly when he saw both of them and gestured Kurt and Sebastian to sit as he held the call.

"I won't be long Kurt!" he said, "Emma just wants to know when you and Blaine will be coming over for dinner."

Kurt smiled, a little smug at the suggestion. Will might have been his boss but the man and his wife were also both family. How many people could say that about the people they worked for?

"To be perfectly honest, I'm not sure when we can both make it, Dr. Schue. Blaine's had to attend a lot of meetings lately. But if dinner with you guys means you'll let me out early so I can go to yours and help Emma cook, I'm sure we'll be able to find time for you. Blaine loves my cooking – he won't say no to that."

"How's next Wednesday?" Will asked. "And don't forget, I have a meeting with the directors from New York this Friday."

"I haven't forgotten," Kurt said, "Though with all due respect Dr. Schue – I'm not transferring."

It was only a very brief one, but Kurt was quick to notice the look that Schuester and Sebastian had shared with each other when he said it. Not wanting to press the matter further, Kurt chose to ignore what he had seen.

"And Wednesday's fine, I'll just check with Blaine." Kurt stood to leave, "I'll see you later Schue, I'm sure Blaine's waiting for me and it's going to take a while to get home as it is in this kind of weather."

Schuester waved at him as Kurt turned to Sebastian. "You coming Smythe?"

He only asked the question because some alone time with Sebastian right now to pick his brains on the Manhattan transfer was a good idea. He had a feeling even though Schue had prompted it, that Sebastian was behind it all. But as Blaine was waiting for him it was probably a good reason that Sebastian declined or he and Kurt would be talking about the situation for hours on end if Kurt had a say in the matter.

"I have to stay in here and follow up some things with Schue…" Sebastian ended up admitting - and then he saw the look on Kurt's face. "Look, I know you're upset about the New York thing but we wouldn't even be suggesting it if you didn't have such a brilliant mind."

"Thanks for the compliment," Kurt acknowledged, "But I'm still not going. I'll see you later."

Sebastian winked, "Yes you will. Just drive home safely, okay? The rain looks like it's picking up."

Kurt exhaled, a little exasperated, but gathered his things and signed out for the day. When he got to the front to show his badge to be authorized out, the guard standing at the door had to hold back from laughter.

"Oh, Dr. Hummel! I know it is procedure but I think we've both been here long enough to know who exactly you are!" He waved him out without the formalities that usually came with signing out. "Drive home safely!"

"Thanks Figgins!" Kurt said, opening his umbrella as he left the hospital's doors. "You be careful too, the rain looks relentless!"

Sebastian wasn't joking about the rain picking up. It almost seemed torrential. Kurt might have had a good umbrella but he was almost soaking wet by the time he reached his car. He had parked here before making his way over to Sebastian's office earlier that day and welcomed the warmth in his vehicle that was waiting for him.

He hadn't driven for very long when he was forced to slow down by a patrolman standing up ahead. As he got closer to the flashing lights that were indicating the traffic detour, he noticed that a large telephone poll had fallen to the ground and was blocking the road. Emergency vehicles had parked at the scene too. He immediately recognized the Sheriff who asked Kurt to pull down his window.

"Wes!" Kurt exclaimed. "Is anyone hurt?"

"Not tonight, fortunately! But I'm afraid you're going to have to take the long way home, Kurt. It's going to take us a while to clear this up."

"Of course, Sheriff."

He was getting ready to make a u-turn when Wes called out to him. "And tell that husband of yours he owes me a phone call! I can't remember the last time I heard from Blaine!"

"Will do, Wes! Thanks! Bye!"

Kurt continued along with ease around the longer route, making his way to the road less travelled. It was the one near the old McMahon Bridge that Kurt avoided at all costs. It wasn't that it was unsafe – there was just something creepy about the place. Suffice it to say, Kurt wasn't the only one who avoided it.

"Hey, it's me, can you hear me okay?" he asked speaking into his cell phone, "Are you finished yet? Wonderful. I might be a little longer than I expected, I had to detour—"

A sudden bump in the road caused Kurt to drop his phone. He ducked down, pausing to pick it up, still a bit shaky from the sudden jerk, his eyes away from the road for only a split second.

"Sorry about that, I just dropped my—"

As he raised his head again, Kurt froze. His sight level again with the dashboard, he couldn't believe what he was seeing - but he didn't have much time to react. There was a young boy standing in the middle of the road. Kurt swore and swerved to avoid hitting him but the roads were so wet and slick he didn't make it in time to avoid hitting the railing along the side of the road. He heard the metal screech as the car halted but thankfully he was okay when he finally stopped. Staring into his rear view mirror, he saw the same boy standing there, wearing only thin clothing, in the freezing rain. He couldn't have been any more than eight or nine. Something wasn't right.

"Stay on the line," Kurt instructed gripping his cell even tighter, "The weirdest thing just… Hello? Hello?"

Kurt stared back at his phone. It was dead.

"Great." He said aloud. It was the fallen telephone pole. It must have affected the service.

Forgoing his useless phone, Kurt tossed it aside on the passenger seat and went out in the rain towards the boy. He had his back turned towards Kurt and there was no reason why he should be out here in the dark waiting in the rain by himself. Kurt was trained in the profession of what was rational and saw no cause of reason to the sudden situation he found himself in.

"Hello?" he called out to the boy, "Are you hurt? Hello?"

The boy didn't say anything. He didn't even turn around. As Kurt approached closer, he was immediately saddened at the discovery of small purplish welts along the boy's pale skin of his back and neck. Everything about this situation was wrong. Clearly, something horrible had happened to him.

"It's going to be okay, I promise. I can get you help, I'm a doctor. My name is Kurt Hummel…"

At the introduction, the boy finally turned around. He was even worse for wear than Kurt had imagined. His lip was bust and he was crying. Kurt flung his coat around him.

"Hey, sssh. It's okay… it's going to be okay! I'm going to take you to the hospital. Can you tell me your name?"

Suddenly, with wide tear-filled eyes, the boy gripped Kurt's arm tightly with both his hands. His touch burned Kurt's skin like fire and the rain was only making it worse. How was this happening?

"What are you doing? I'm trying to help you! I'm—"

The boy opened his mouth and let out an eerily piercing scream. It echoed off into the night, through the trees, beyond every road that Kurt had ever been on. It was filled with so much turmoil, and so much hurt. It reached through every fiber of Kurt's being, right through to his bones, right down to his very core. The boy held onto Kurt, his mouth wide, his screams continual, and within seconds Kurt had passed out onto the floor mostly in shock, but also in silent wide-mouthed pain.


	3. The Other Side

BEHIND BLUE EYES

By _paperstylehearts_

**Warnings: **Fiction Rated **M** – See FF for details.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Glee or Gothika.

* * *

**A/N: **Thank you to everyone for their amazing feedback on the last chapter! I really hope you like this one too! Please review!

_Fic Rec_: **rakestrawberry**'s _Lima, Ohio: The Other, Other Hellmouth_. It's a great BtVs/gLee crossover and the writer is extremely talented! If you've ever watched Buffy and love gLee I really recommend that you check it out!

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Chapter Three

_The Other Side_

~.~

Kurt opened his eyes, aware of the cold sweat present on his forehead, so typically characteristic after awakening from a bad dream. _Or a nightmare. The McMahon Bridge always creeps you out. You're safe now, get some water._ He reached over for the glass Blaine usually left for him by his bedside table but found it was not there. _Never mind, _he thought,_ I'll get it myself._

As he struggled to get up in the darkness, he felt a heaviness in his head like no other. _That must have been some dream, Kurt. Your forehead is still cold. Rehydrate. Get yourself that water. _

He slowly walked in the dark suddenly aware that the ground underneath him was feeling vastly different from usual on his bare feet. He and Blaine had carpeted floors, but the base beneath him however, felt cold and hard like concrete. He touched the sides of the wall, noticing they were brick and rough and felt his heart pace a little faster at the new discovery. _This is not my room. This is not my house…_

Finding it very difficult to maneuver in the dark, Kurt held onto the wall and felt his way around. A loud clang indicated that he had knocked into something – a tray perhaps? – but that didn't make sense at all… _I need to find the door outta here. I need to get myself out._

Kurt made it to the door okay. A glass door in fact. Inches thick with a locked handle that wouldn't budge. He peered outside and as his eyes adjusted stared into the dimly lit hallway. He finally recognized where he was all right.

He was in a cell.

A cell in Lima State Hospital.

Kurt tried to contain himself but it was proving difficult. "Hello? Somebody help me!"

He began furiously trying to work the handle but it wouldn't budge; the door was shut tight. Kurt started to panic, banging on the glass doors.

"Hello? Hello! Is anyone there? Please, somebody! I need help!"

It didn't seem like anyone could hear him.

"HELP ME! LET ME OUT!"

But Kurt was sure to make a lot of noise until they could.

~.~

The Head Nurse of Lima State was a woman who had been in the position for over fourteen years now. To say she had seen some crazy things during her course of stay here was an understatement. She worked at a hospital for the criminally insane – it did not get any crazier than that.

But whether it was because she had been here so long, or whether it was because her patience was simply running thin, Head Nurse Sylvester was starting to find that she was at the end of her rope.

"Yes, Brittany, what is it?"

"I don't want to take my medicine."

"And I don't want to see Figgins fall asleep at his post again, so it looks like we're both stuck."

Brittany sighed; she looked pouty and upset but there was a hint of seriousness in her voice. "What are my options?"

All professionalism aside, Sue actually snorted, "Sorry darling – you just don't have any. Either you take this medicine on your own—," she gestured to the small white pills in the even tinier clear plastic cup, "—or I page Nurse Beiste here to stick this very needle in your arm and you take the medicine anyway."

Brittany scrunched her eyes closed, trying very hard to think about it. While she debated both scenarios in her mind, Sue took a moment out to think too. Not that she would ever tell anyone, but Nurse Sylvester had a soft spot for Brittany S. Pierce. The girl was - _different_. She may be in an asylum but she had only wiggled her way in so she could spend time with her girlfriend, the Loony Latina, who was undeniably crazy. But Sue kept an eye on Brittany, because there was something about the way she said odd things that ended up coming true. After fourteen years, Sue had never seen anything like it.

"Fine," Brittany finally relented, "I'll take your sugar pills." She picked up the plastic cup and dry swallowed both tiny white tablets. Sue handed her some water.

"Oh they're not sugar, Britt. They're wonderful magic tablets that are going to help you relax and think a little clearer. You'll be thanking me later."

Brittany finished her water and lent in very, very close to Sue and started whispering. "I wouldn't be so sure about that if I was you."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Sue asked immediately.

"If you really want to know, I have a few demands."

Thank God the room wasn't bugged. Sylvester may have been here a while but despite the fact that she was the head honcho around here, even she could get in trouble for the simple two words she was about to say.

"I'm listening."

Brittany turned around to make sure there was no one behind her even though it had been just her and Sue for the past half hour in Brittany's cell. When she was certain they were alone, she started talking.

"You've left the crayon boxes empty which is confusing. What kind of hospital runs out of crayons? It isn't very American of you. You get me my crayons, Nurse, and you keep that creepy kid who's coming, away from me and Santana, and we have ourselves a deal. Also, I want a can of soda. Santana loves soda and our anniversary is coming up and since there isn't a lot of choice here, I want to give her that soda."

"Done," Sylvester agreed, although she was confused herself. Brittany often left people feeling that way. "But I'm going to need more information about this kid you want me to keep you away from… I need to at least know what they look like so I can keep them away from you."

Brittany furrowed her brow as though Sue had asked her to solve a complicated algebraic math equation, which contrary to popular belief - Brittany was actually quite good at. She then nodded. "Okay, so he's got brown hair, and pale skin, and real baby features because he's pretty much a kid, voice from out of this world…and he um…"

Sue was amazed. She knew exactly who Brittany was describing…. But maybe she was also jumping to conclusions too quick. There was no way that Brittany could be talking about _him_. There just wasn't. None of the patients knew that Kurt Hummel was here yet. It was classified information.

"Brittany, I—"

Sue's pager started buzzing and she quickly looked down to see the word "Urgent," flashing across her screen. It was sent from Figgins. She rolled her eyes. Becky Jackson, Sue's personal assistant, could do a better job guarding this place then Figgins could.

Sue took out her portable receiver, hit the little red button, and spoke into it. "This better be good, Figgins. I'm a busy woman, you know. If this has to do with another dead rat I swear I'll ask Beiste to personally escort you from the hospital without your badge!"

She let go of the button and allowed to Figgins to speak. Surprisingly, his little Indian accent wavered with confidence. "Trust me Sue, you're going to want to hear this. Sleeping Beauty is awake."

~.~

It was a good fifteen minutes of yelling before Kurt saw a familiar face walk the halls and though they didn't share a close business relationship the way he shared with Schue he was sure glad to see her.

"Nurse Beiste!" he called loudly, banging against his door. "Can you hear me? Please let me out!"

Nurse Beiste slowed and eyed Kurt with her arms crossed. "Well, since you asked, I think _everyone_ in this whole damn hospital can hear you. You've been yelling a lot since you woke up, Mr. Hummel."

"It's _Doctor_ Hummel actually. Now please, open the door."

Just as she had previously, Nurse Beiste ignored his second request. "I can't call you that Mr. Hummel. I start calling you doctor and then before you know it, everyone wants to be called doctor. You sit tight and relax, Nurse Sylvester is on her way."

"Good!" Kurt snapped, seeing he was getting nowhere with Beiste, "I can't _wait_ to see her!"

Nurse Beiste stood outside Kurt's cell silently, almost as if she were exclusively guarding it. Sue had told her to meet her here for patient assistance except although she knew better, Kurt looked harmless. He was pale and thin and why exactly Sue couldn't handle him by herself was beyond Shannon.

Kurt didn't have to wait long before Nurse Sylvester finally joined them. She looked flurried.

"Morning Porcelain," she greeted, "Good to see you're awake. What do you reckon, Shannon, fifty milligrams?"

It was then that Kurt noticed that Sue was preparing a syringe and since he was the only patient in sight… it could only mean that syringe was for him.

"_Fifty _ _milligrams_? Are you being serious right now? What are you trying to do?" he demanded , "Kill me? Where is Blaine? I want to see my husband!"

At the mention of Blaine, Kurt soon realized that Sue hadn't arrived here by herself. She had in fact arrived with Sebastian.

"Are you serious? Sebastian Smythe? Now I really want to know what the hell is going on!"

Sebastian placed an arm on Sue's shoulder. "Do you ladies want to wait outside? I'll take it from here."

But Sue didn't like the sound of that idea at all. "Listen here, wounded meerkat!" she said bossily, "I ain't going nowhere till Porcelain takes his meds. Do you really want to take me on when I have Beiste standing right next to me?"

"Fine!" Sebastian said impatiently, "But fifty is a bit too much. Distribute thirty instead."

"I'm not taking anything!" Kurt yelled out loudly, "Not till someone tells me what's going on!"

Sebastian looked desperate. "Look Kurt, I need you to calm down. How are you feeling?"

Was this a joke? This had to be a joke. "How do you _think_ I'm feeling? I don't want to stay calm, I want an explanation! And I'm still waiting to see Blaine!"

Sebastian tried to gesture his sight towards the nurses standing behind him in a way so that only Kurt could see him do it. "Why don't you take your medicine first and then we can have a chat?"

Kurt got the hint. Unless he agreed, Sue and Beiste would not be leaving him alone with Sebastian. He sighed. "Whatever. But I don't want an anticonvulsant. At least give me Valium."

Sebastian turned to the nurses, as if requesting permission from them. Sue nodded and so Sebastian was able to agree with Kurt, but when Sebastian handed it to him, Kurt looked like he was a Jewish man being forced to eat meat that wasn't kosher.

"How much is in that?" Kurt asked furiously, "I'm not taking thirty, I'll take ten milligrams and that's it!"

Sebastian was outwardly tired. He looked like he hadn't slept in days. If the bags under his eyes were any indication, it may have even been a week. "Kurt, just please take the damn pills or they're going to have to force the anticonvulsant on you and it'll be outta my hands. Twenty – and that's my final offer."

He handed Kurt the water and after a few moments pause, Kurt finally took the medicine. Satisfied, Sylvester and Beiste then left, locking the door behind them.

The harder Kurt was trying to put everything in perspective, the more desperate he became to do so. He stared silently at Sebastian trying to study his face. There was no sympathy there. Or maybe too much of it.

It nerved Kurt to no end. "How would you feel if you woke up in a cell dressed exactly like your patients?" he asked angrily. Sebastian couldn't answer him.

"Kurt, this is really awkward. Technically, I shouldn't be treating you but with a combination of my psych minor and with Dr. Schuester being able to miraculously pull some strings together in this place, the court has granted us a waiver until you're transferred. I want you to know that you can talk to me. Nothing you tell me will leave this room."

"I don't want to talk to you," Kurt said flatly, "I want to talk to Blaine. I want to see my husband!"

Sebastian looked down at the floor avoiding Kurt's gaze but it was the _way_ he looked down that caught Kurt's surprise. It left Kurt momentarily speechless.

"Why do you keep saying that?" Sebastian asked quietly. "You asked Sue and Shannon and now me – why do you do that, Kurt?"

Kurt tilted his head, "What do you mean?"

"I realize your marriage isn't annulled," Sebastian continued, still just as quietly, "But you and Blaine separated over six months ago."

…_WHAT? _No, no, no that wasn't right, that wasn't true, that wasn't possible…! How much of his memory had he lost in here already? He may be struggling to remember how he got in here but surely he'd remember if he and Blaine were separated?

"There was no trouble in my marriage!" Kurt spat out confidently.

"Are you sure about that? Why don't you sit down and have a small think about it."

Kurt sunk back down into his chair and his whole body shook tensely as he did exactly that. He was right, he knew it, there was no other option! Sebastian was messing with him for sure!

But then…

Just before the accident, he remembered that he had been paranoid that Blaine had been avoiding him and keeping distant. And last time Blaine had done that it was because… well, it had been because he was trying to get used to what life would be like without Kurt.

Kurt was starting to piece things together. The dinner at Will's house? Shue's wife had recently become a _couple's counselor_…

…_That's why you and Blaine were going to see them on Wednesday._

So maybe Sebastian _wasn't_ lying. In fact…

"_Hey, it's me, can you hear me okay? Are you finished yet? Wonderful. I might be a little longer than I expected, I had to detour—"_

"It was you I tried to call that night." Kurt suddenly realized out loud, "The night of my accident."

"Yes."

"We were having an affair."

"No."

"No?"

"You were legally separated. You weren't… _cheating_."

"But I was technically still married, Sebastian. You're a lawyer, you should know that."

"Kurt, we have to put a few things in order before we can proceed any further. How long have you been in here?"

Kurt stared at him blankly, "C'mon Sebastian! What is this?"

"Humor me," he said simply.

"Wait – " Kurt asked, needing to make sure of one thing first, "I am a doctor, right?"

Sebastian nodded, "Yes. A great one in fact."

"Okay," Kurt nodded, "You tell me. How long have I been in here?"

Sebastian's pause was only very brief, "Five days."

"What?"

"You were admitted to the neurosurgical unit seizing violently. That lasted three days. Scans revealed left-sided weakness, numbness and severe frontal lobe deficits."

Kurt closed his eyes. He was trying very hard to see how that would be possible. Suddenly, flashes of… _something_… started sifting their way through his memories. He could see himself with his arms and legs thrashing. A white wall. The floor. His head moving out of control. Doctors trying to hold him down…

Sebastian's voice continued in the background. "You tested negative for phencyclidine, underwent extensive hypnosis, and received amytal sodium injections."

Kurt stared down at his wrists. They were reddish and sore. He looked back at Sebastian. He didn't need to ask.

"You were tied down for a day and a half so you wouldn't hurt yourself and then you— I don't know how to put this lightly— you were catatonic. This is the first time I've heard you speak since you were admitted."

They continued to stare silently at each other until Sebastian kept going. "You're the most logical person I know; you set the bar where it sits so highly now. You remember events and phrases more accurately than anyone around and have an unconfirmed photographic memory… Why am I telling you this?"

"You're establishing my personality," Kurt answered swiftly, "You think I'm fairly intellectual and don't consider me impulsive or emotional…"

"And would you consider that a fair assessment?"

"Yes," Kurt said slowly, "But why do I have the feeling that you're about to reveal a traumatic experience that has rendered my psychological profile completely useless?"

"Because," Sebastian answered calmly, "That feeling would be correct."

"You think I'm in denial. That I'm only saying this to cover some unbearable emotion I'm hiding. Why?"

"Don't try and analyze yourself. Just try to remember Friday night." Sebastian stopped, pausing to wait patiently for Kurt. On his part, Kurt was a wreck. He was not used to being on the other side of the therapist's table.

"I remember Friday night," he said slowly, "I was driving home. It was raining and there… there was an accident. There was a boy… I took him to hospital, right?"

"There was definitely an accident," Sebastian confirmed, "You were detoured by Sheriff Wesley. But there's no report of any boy."

"No, Wes was back on Main Road with the fallen pole. I saw the boy after that. He was hurt."

"Let's backtrack a little. You were driving home. You were detoured by the police. Forget the boy for just a second. What else do you remember?"

Kurt shook his head, "I don't know… Sebastian, what aren't you telling me?"

Sebastian glanced down at his watch. All he wanted to do was reach out and hug the man he hadn't seen in almost a week but he really couldn't afford to get too personal with Kurt. No matter how much of a big shot he was, if Schuester made the call, he'd never see Kurt again while he was in here.

"Who's Peter Eristavi?" Sebastian asked flatly.

Kurt shrugged. "No freaking idea."

The look Sebastian gave Kurt when he answered annoyed him to no end. "Really Sebastian? I can't believe you right now! I'm sorry that I can't help you further because amongst trying to figure out how the hell I got myself into this predicament in the first place, I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that Blaine and I _aren't_ married. Oh yeah and that the affair I seemed to be involved with was with _you_ of all people! How desperate was I?"

"Kurt!" Sebastian warned, the hurt evident in his voice. "Just don't. Before you say something you regret."

Kurt smirked, feeling an almost-win. "Are you threatening me, Sebastian?"

"No, I'm not. I'm just saying you'll regret it because before this all happened, you told me that you loved me."

A deafening silence pierced the room. More flashbacks sifted through Kurt's memory. Being shoved against the wall in pleasure. Lips on lips. Lips on his collarbone. His fingers running through soft brown hair, touching, tasting, feeling, skin on chest… Sebastian's voice whispering into his ear that he, Kurt, was beautiful…

Kurt looked at Sebastian timidly. It was so hard to read his face and Kurt had sworn to himself that he'd never psychoanalyze anyone close to him but he could tell that Sebastian was hurting. And that he'd screwed up royally.

"Look Sebastian, I'm sor—"

"Who's Peter Eristavi?" Sebastian repeated, interrupting Kurt.

"What?"

"Peter. Eristavi." Sebastian repeated the name again, even more slowly. "Who is he?"

Kurt shrugged, "I don't know. I have absolutely no idea."

"Are you sure about that?"

"_Yes_!" Kurt insisted. "What does he have to do with anything anyway?"

"Damn it Kurt! I'M TRYING TO HELP YOU!"

"Well, I'm telling you the _truth_ Sebastian! I have never heard of this man before in my life!"

Sebastian didn't say anything at first. He studied Kurt as if trying to see if he had an angle or what his agenda was; Kurt had recognized the look as the one he often gave his patients. But one thing was obvious – Sebastian didn't believe him. And Kurt was exasperated. He didn't know how else to convince him.

Sebastian took out a piece of paper from within his briefcase and showed it to Kurt.

"Do you recognize this document?" he asked, his voiced cracked ever so slightly as he said it.

Kurt tiredly looked over at the paper. He didn't have to read the whole thing. He recognized his and Blaine's names and signatures and saw the Certificate of Marriage license title at the top. He slowly nodded.

"Dr. Hummel," Sebastian said slowly, "Who officiated your wedding?"

Kurt's answer was instantaneous, "I… I-I don't remember."

Sebastian remained silent and pushed the document further towards Kurt. With increased dread, Kurt peered over at the paper.

He flung his hand to his mouth and shook his head over and over again, "No… No! That's not right… that's not right…"

_Peter Eristavi_.

"Right so fine!" Kurt finally said openly, realizing what he'd done by saying he didn't know the man. "But I promise I'm not trying to incriminate myself! It's been Hell since I woke up and I'm sorry that I made things harder for you by not remembering the name of the man who officiated my wedding! Now _tell_ me – what the hell does it have to do with anything?"

Sebastian let out a long deep sigh. His expression again was unreadable. "Peter Eristavi died five days ago. You killed him."


	4. Patiently Waiting

BEHIND BLUE EYES

By _paperstylehearts_

**Warnings: **Fiction Rated **M** – See FF for details.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Glee or Gothika.

* * *

_For __**CountingCrow16**__, since she so patiently waited :D_

* * *

Chapter Four

Patiently Waiting

~.~

_ "It's going to be all right, Kurt…"_

Who was that? It sounded a lot like Sebastian but the voice was distant, almost muffled in the background. Kurt struggled to open his eyes but his head was too heavy. He felt weak, unable to move any of his limbs, but he was oddly relaxed too. He supposed he had been given some sort of drug - that would at least explain the bruise in his arm if they had used a needle to drug him – and also explain the effective hallucinations that were starting to collate in his mind.

Most of them were hazy, but some of them were very clear - like the glass of alcohol he suddenly seemed to have in his hand. There was no doubt he was dreaming, but something about the scene seemed too familiar, as if he were living a memory or having déjà vu… Or maybe it was just hearing Blaine's voice again in the sequence that made everything feel so real.

_"I saw Travis today…" _Blaine says.

Kurt turns his head and faces him. He and Blaine are sitting at a bar in some sort of dirty pub. Blaine is also nursing a drink; uncharacteristically, the top two buttons of his shirt are undone, his tie is hanging loosely around his neck and the stubble on his face and chin looks like it has been there for well over a few days. More noticeably, the redness of his eyes indicates that he is _tired._ He has eyes only for the bubbles that seem to surface to the top of his glass; his mind is clearly somewhere else. Kurt has so many questions he wants to ask Blaine in this moment but instead he settles for just one.

"_How is he?"_

Blaine slowly shrugs as if seemingly resigned from life in general. He takes a sip of his beer. He is still not maintaining eye contact with Kurt; it's as if the beer is the most interesting thing he has ever known.

_"He's coping_," Blaine says finally, "_Are you?"_

Kurt opens his mouth ready to re-question Blaine but the scene shifts, fading into black and yet again becomes so suddenly real that Kurt can smell it. He's never known that to happen before, never known it was possible to smell things in a dream. But there is something here that is terribly wrong…

Because it smells like salt and rust and hour old _blood._

Worse still, there are red bloodstains _everywhere_. They splatter the walls and they paint the floors and Kurt's clothes are soaked in it. There is a familiarity with the house but Kurt can't quite pinpoint what it is. Something catches his eye and he looks down trembling in dread. He sees a man sprawled out on the floor, lying on his stomach, covered and pooled in blood. In his hand Kurt holds an axe that looks like it's just had some good use put to it.

Kurt closes his eyes, forces the smell of the blood away and… now he can smell something different. _What is that? Cologne?_

He is now standing in front of a mirror, busily studying his reflection, trying to make himself look decent. His shirt buttons are mostly undone and his hair is a mess so he consciously runs his hands through it. A stranger leans in behind him and covers Kurt's chest with his hands.

"_Please tell me you're staying…"_

Kurt turns back and sees a shirtless, gorgeous man smiling up at him. He quickly kisses the bridge of his nose.

_"I can't. Blaine is expecting me home tonight…"_

Sebastian's resolve immediately falters. He looks hurt and quite understandably frustrated. But he is still holding onto Kurt.

_"I thought the court ruled you as legally separated?" _

_"You tell me. You were also at the hearing, were you not?"_

Sebastian finally lets go, stepping back a few steps and coming to rest seated on their hotel bed. _"That's my point, babe. I can't understand why you are running back to him when you don't have to. You're free, Kurt. You are under no obligation to see him anymore."_

"_It's not running back. He's still my husband Seb, and out of sheer decency and respect, there are a few things I'd rather sort out with him face to face. It's the right thing to do and you're just going to have to be more patient with me about it and less horny."_

Sebastian sighs before finally revealing the truth of his frustrations. "_I just… want to spend more time with you."_ His vulnerability in that moment causes Kurt to soften. It is a rare moment to see Sebastian like this.

_"Bas! You see me every day!"_

_"Well then let me rephrase. I wanna spend time with you minus all the crazy…"_

Kurt turns from the mirror and walks right over to where Sebastian is sitting on the bed. He lays his hand on his chest and brings his head closer to his, kissing his lips in a deep embrace. Their tongues meet somewhere in the middle and Kurt pushes Sebastian back just _so_ allowing himself the freedom to hover over him. He catches his hands and throws them above his head with the kind of force he knows that Sebastian likes every so often.

_"Okay," _Kurt finally says, "_I can stay another five minutes…"_

The scene fades. Once again Kurt finds himself in the dark house covered in blood. He wipes at his sweaty brow creating long finger-printed scarlet marks on his forehead as he does so. He doesn't _feel_ this time. He doesn't _smell_ this time. But he can _hear_…

It sounds like someone… is breathing deep breaths, long and shallow, right _over_ him. It's almost as if they are floating right above him, invading his personal space. Kurt suddenly jerks awake, sitting bolt upright, very much alert. _Why wasn't it this easy to wake up ten minutes ago? _He doesn't see anyone, though.

What the hell was that? The last of his very real, very dreamlike memory? Or the beginning of a new nightmare invading his subconscious?

And then he remembers where he is again.

He sighs, frustrated with the knowledge that he is still in a cell in Lima State. He sits there for a moment, trying to gather his thoughts, but he isn't given much time.

He's so sure he is awake now. After all, it's not the hardest thing in the world to be unsure of. Except that he can hear the breathing from his dream again. And Kurt's pretty sure he's the only one occupying his cell.

_Fact. You ARE locked up by yourself. Don't start doubting the truth. You're probably just coming out of a much too livid nightmare and the effects of whatever drug they've had you on…_

But he can still hear the breathing.

He gets up and paces around the cell; luckily the action works quite well for him and soon his footsteps are the only noise he can here, distracting him from his paranoia.

Until he pauses his movements and can hear another set of footsteps close by.

"Hello?" he says out loud not knowing why he felt the need to say it – it's not like anyone can hear him. He settles for walking over to the glass door and placing his forehead against the coolness of it, shutting his eyes again. The light at the end of the hallway begins to flicker on and off.

_Well at least some things haven't changed around here,_ Kurt thinks melodramatically, "_Like the fact that they still haven't gotten round to fixing the power in the west wing!"_

As soon as he thinks it, the lights turns off altogether and whatever dim light permeating the halls that was once there is now gone. He shakes his head at the hospital's inability to get it right and grins thinking wryly to himself.

A different sound, the sound of somebody turning a handle, makes itself present. Kurt is immediately confused. He stares at the door handle slightly shaking at first but then more rapidly _and he's not even touching it._

He flexes his fingers, trying very hard not to shake as he does so, and grips the door handle hoping beyond hope that it budges enough for him to at least open the door.

But that doesn't happen. What was he expecting to do? Break the law of physics?

He looks up frustrated at his own lapse in judgment. What's happening to him? Isn't he supposed to be the expert of everything that is rational? Except Kurt isn't sure he even knows what normal is anymore. His hand is still holding tight on the door handle. He stares half-heartedly at his reflection in the glass.

He blinks once, twice. Surely, _surely, _he isn't seeing what he thinks he's seeing.

Because instead of what should be his own reflection, he is staring at the image of the young injured boy from McMahon Bridge.


	5. State of Mind

BEHIND BLUE EYES

By _paperstylehearts_

**Warnings: **Fiction Rated **M** – See FF for details. HEAVY ON THE TRIGGERS.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Glee or Gothika.

* * *

**A/N**: Sorry for the mistakes! It is 3:18am in the morning here and I have to be up for work in five hours and I have NO idea why I stayed up this late except that I couldn't stop writing it and I had to get it published for you guys! Please review! I always enjoy hearing what you think :)

_For __**Dark Soul 0117**_

* * *

Chapter Five

_State of Mind_

~.~

"Wake up Porcelain!" Sue yelled loudly, "Now! Beiste will be here any second to go through your morning routine with you."

"And she doesn't like to be kept waiting!" Becky said with a tone of finality.

She strode off with her assistant Becky Jackson by her side. Kurt sighed and sat up trying to get it together. He walked half-heartedly over to the communal sink where he splashed his face. His head was pounding; he had not got a good night's sleep and he was still feeling a slight dizziness from the drugs they had put in him yesterday.

He jumped when he realized Nurse Beiste was standing right behind him.

"Your meds, Hummel," she said, offering a small smile and plastic cup. "They'll help with the dizziness," she confirmed knowingly, "And then we can leave and you can mingle with the rest of your inmates."

Kurt nodded silently. He downed the medicine in one small gulp. "I need to see Sebastian Smythe."

"And you will hon. You have a scheduled appointment with him this afternoon."

"No. I need to see him _now_."

"Hummel, keep your tone _calm_! You keep talking to me like that and I'm afraid you're going to force me to do my job!"

She showed him the syringe in her hand to prove she wasn't joking. Kurt just shrugged, he had given up; he was frustrated to say the least but he was also clearly in no position to argue. _Again_.

Beiste led him to the recreational room where all the other patients already were. He knew it was Sue's doing but most of the patients here he did not recognize. Then again, most of the patients he treated were not in any state of mind to have free time in the hospital's recreational room anyway.

Kurt sat on a worn out couch, mostly trying to keep to himself, but found that looking at all the other patients was very distracting. There was a young man who was only walking around backwards. Then there was another guy that was pretending to read. The guy sitting next to Mr. Pretending-to-Read could have very well passed for sane in a crowd if he didn't keep letting out a clap every minute on the minute.

And then there was a female sitting in the corner playing dominoes with another and she was most definitely distracting because she was someone that Kurt actually recognized.

After all, she had been his biggest case before he got in here.

Kurt turned to see Beiste and Sylvester talking and having a conversation with each other in the corner and keeping an eye on the patients but no particular eye on anyone specific. Was that supposed to mean he was considered like every other patient at the hospital now?

He could not let his stay at Lima State become a routine for him. Maybe he could still try to help his patients? Would that help clear his name? Didn't real prisoners do community service to make up time? This could be his way out… Or not. But he had to try something and he had to start somewhere. _Okay Santana_, he thought, _prepare to be shrinked._

He got up and went to walk over to Santana Lopez when he was stopped by a familiar angry blonde in his tracks.

"Stay away from me!" Brittany told him suddenly.

Kurt turned just to make sure she really was talking to him but there was no one on either side of him so he shook his head confused. "I'm sorry… did I do something to offend you, Brittany?"

She looked at him with narrowed eyes but there was something off about the way she was doing it. It was like she was seeing through him. It made Kurt feel really uneasy.

"I wasn't talking to you," Brittany said.

This threw Kurt off. "But you're looking right at me!"

Her hands reached her hips in annoyance as Brittany rolled her eyes, "Gothika," she said.

"I'm sorry?"

"I said _whatever_. I'm going to go to speak to Nurse Sue about these conditions. I don't like what she's playing at. Here. These crayons are for you. You're going to need them."

Kurt stared at the materials he had been given before he realized how silly he must have looked and went over to Santana leaving the things Brittany had given him on a nearby table.

She was accompanied by another girl with messy brown hair in ponytails and hair that looked like she had cut it herself. It also must have been dyed at one stage but the color was definitely starting to fade out. She was rattling off meds starting with M at Santana's request – they must have been playing a game between the two of them - and it was clear that hers and Santana's interest from their round of dominoes had waned a long time back.

Kurt focused on his former patient and cleared his throat. "Santana?" he said timidly.

She glanced at him once before turning her gaze away bored and back to her friend. "Oh how the mighty have fallen…." she mumbled. "What the hell do you want, Lady Face?" She still wasn't looking at him.

"Look I… I just came to ask you how you were."

Her friend turned round to face him and gave Kurt a quick once over. "Oh hi there, Doc," she greeted, "I never got shrinked by you but I sure wish I did because you're _famous_ now. They have your pretty little picture in the paper and everything."

She stood up and closed the small space between them, leaning in just that little bit closer to him so that she was whispering in his ear. "Do yourself a favor and ignore the hearsay. They say you hacked that man open with an axe but I say it just… slipped."

Kurt took a step back in shock. "What are you talking about?"

She turned her head to the side where an almost teasing smirk crossed her face. From the corner of his eye, he saw Santana roll her eyes again.

"Just show him, Sugar."

She stomped her foot down in annoyance like a spoiled child. "You're ruining my fun!" Sugar whined. "How do we know he's not a spy sent from the other side to keep an eye on us?"

Santana didn't answer her but there was something in her look that forced Sugar to debunk her theory and the stare seemed to work wonders because Sugar eventually relented. From within her bra she took out a crumpled newspaper clipping and handed it to Kurt.

_LOCAL MAN SLAUGHTERED IN COLD BLOOD. RENOWNED LIMA STATE PSYCHIATRIST UNDER ARREST._

Kurt stared at the clipping starting to feel sick. A large picture of a house with yellow police tape blocking the entrance covered most of the extract, but to the right, there was a smaller photo of a man who the article identified as Peter Eristavi. Under his photo was a picture of Kurt and from what he recognized, it looked to be a copy of the same photo that he kept on his ID at the hospital. Or used to keep.

"How did you get this?" Kurt asked Sugar.

She placed a finger to her lips and shook her head, "All I can say is that my Dad is not in the mafia. So… are you really not here undercover?"

"No Sugar, I'm not."

"Good. Because they tried to pull that shit at another hospital. The doctors who participated quit after one day."

She turned her gaze elsewhere. Kurt turned to see where she was looking at and saw the same guy who was pretending to read from earlier wave at her. She sauntered over to him impressed and Kurt was left alone with Santana.

Their eyes meet briefly. Santana gestured for him to sit down but before he could move into Sugar's vacated seat the yells of a familiar angry girl distracted them both instantly. Somebody was having a go at Head Nurse Sue Sylvester.

"You're a liar! You're mean and you lie and I'm never telling you anything ever again! You said you were going to keep him away!"

Sue simply nodded but Beiste took that to mean something else. She held in her hand a syringe, ready to sedate Brittany and keep her quiet. Santana saw it and was there in a heartbeat, Kurt not too far behind. He watched helpless as she jumped on top of Nurse Beiste.

"No Santana!" he yelled.

She was swearing in Spanish and had somehow not only managed to hoist herself up on Nurse Beiste but was attacking her wildly too. Beiste on the other hand didn't even flinch. She removed Santana off her with ease and then threw her arm up fast quickly sedating her instead of Brittany as the needle made contact with Santana's neck. Nurse Sue caught her from behind and held on Santana's hips as the girl fell limp.

Beside him, Brittany let out a whimper. Kurt wanted to comfort her but he was positive he was the reason she was yelling at Sue in the first place, even if he wasn't exactly sure why, and wasn't sure if she would welcome the gesture or not. It was why he was even more surprised when she flung her arms around him and sobbed quietly when they removed Santana from the room.

"Please tell me what I did, Britt," he whispered to her, "I wanna make things okay between us."

She looked up at him with her child-like eyes confused. "I'm not angry at you, Kurt." Kurt wanted to question her but he himself is too confused to argue so he held onto her tightly instead.

"You dropped your crayons," Brittany tells him, handing him a new set with some paper. "Keep drawing. It's a good cover."

She let him go and slipped through a corridor and out of site.

Exhausted, and with no familiar faces but Sugar (who is making out with the man from before already) Kurt slumped back down in his originally occupied seat back at square one.

* * *

It isn't till late afternoon that he sees Santana or Brittany again. They are sitting in a corner alone, on a couch very similar to the one Kurt had been sitting on. They are holding hands and Brittany is resting her head on Santana's shoulder as she sings something to her. From what he's gathered Brittany has made things up with Sue who seems to be strangely fussing over her every whim. He decides to give Brittany and Santana their privacy – after all they all only have a few minutes of it as the routine showers will be taking place soon. Kurt is really nervous about it for some reason. He knows everyone has their own cubicle but he doesn't want to have to share his shower slot with any of the men in this room.

He is so occupied with his thoughts he doesn't realize that Sebastian Smythe has been sitting right next to him this entire time.

"I pulled in some favors for you," Sebastian said. "You'll have to shower with the females, and you'll have to go in first, but you'll have a bit more privacy."

Kurt doesn't turn to or look at Sebastian. It surprised Kurt that Sebastian knew his worries without him having to speak them.

"Thank you," Kurt manages to say. He's been starting to remember things, small things about the two of them and how much exactly he came to rely on Sebastian. "Sebastian, I—"

"I'll see you this afternoon, Dr. Hummel," Sebastian interrupted and then walked away without turning back. Kurt had the sudden urge to go after Sebastian but Head Nurse Sue is suddenly standing right in front of him.

"So," she said simply.

"So?" Kurt repeated, confused.

"You have a complaint about the daily routine, do you?"

Kurt briefly wondered what exactly Sebastian had to promise to get Kurt his privacy. Clearly Sue wasn't impressed. "Look I don't want to be any trouble. It's just that there is something vaguely concentration camp-like about institutional bathing and—"

"And State law says I have to keep you ladies clean. And I'm a stickler for the law."

"I never said I _didn't_ want to bathe."

"Quit your blabbering Porcelain. Beiste is waiting for you at the end of the corridor. You get to go in first."

With a huff of annoyance Kurt made his way to the end of the room where Beiste was indeed waiting for him with a bar of soap and a towel.

"Don't worry," she smiled, "It's not so much of a Mexican prison as you might think. Everybody minds their own business here punkin. You got five minutes alone before I have to start on Group A but you just ignore everyone till you're ready to come out."

Kurt thanked her and silently took the items handed to him as he entered the showers. The water here sprayed automatically in ten minute intervals for five minutes. According to the timer on the clock, Kurt had just over a minute before his shower started. As soon as it did start though, it felt like thirty seconds before his time was up.

Nurse Beiste returned with a group of depressed looking tattoo covered females. Some of them had burn marks, harsh bruises, deep cuts and needle marks. Nurse Beiste paid no attention to Kurt, but stationed everyone else in the cubicles furthest from where he was. As the group sauntered in, Kurt could feel Santana's eyes on him as she crossed the room but didn't acknowledge it and said nothing when she and Brittany slipped into their own stall together.

"Okay, group A your five minutes will begin now."

Already wet, Kurt hurried along the process this time but the five minutes still didn't seem enough. Kurt stood naked and dripping in the corner of his cubicle as everyone started filing out when the shower was done. He felt vulnerable and exposed even if no one was paying him any attention. Kurt didn't like to think he was overindulgent but these five minute installments were not doing him any good. He was lucky however that when Beiste had ordered everyone out that she still allowed for Kurt to stay behind.

A moment later she offered him a wink. She nodded and the spray came on again but this time, when Kurt's five minutes was up, the water didn't stop. She probably had some control over the showers.

Kurt hung his head trying so hard to block everything out. It worked well enough; all he could hear was the sound of his own ragged breathing… but also what sounded like… giggling?

The female laughter at the end of the bathroom soon became louder and Kurt said nothing as Santana and Brittany walked passed him, grabbing some extra towels. Santana winked at him but Kurt did nothing to acknowledge it. He probably should have, since he had recently came up with the new plan to try and help patients while he was one himself, but a tile on the wall he was staring at was proving to be far more interesting. Or more accurately a hole.

A water pipe had exploded, and at some point there would have been a handle there, but now there is just a hole with a busted pipe. It shoots out water angrily in all directions that cascades and bounces all over the room.

The familiar smell of rust and salt fills the air and Kurt can't quite place what it is but the smell is all too familiar… Even more strange is that the water has turned red. Kurt stares fixatedly at it because he has finally placed the smell.

Déjà vu. It's blood.

There is a gurgling sound which seems to come deep in the bowels of the plumbing system. The blood is coming out of the hole in the wall where the busted pipe is, but it seems to have a mind of its own; it's not following the laws of gravity for one. It traces up in trembling scarlet lines to the ceiling as though an external force is manipulating its path. The gurgling grows louder, closer. The blood that is flowing from the pipe seems to be running faster as more of it spreads across the wall and along the ceiling too.

Kurt turns away disturbed. He is the only one left in the showers and Beiste is being incognito as a favor to Sebastian for Sue. He doesn't know what to do. The only option he has is to panic. He shuts his eyes but while he is blind to the images of blood, it is the smell that doesn't go away so easily.

_It isn't real. It isn't real. It isn't real…_

But it is pointless reminding himself of that. Because when he opens his eyes again, he finds that the lines of blood have curved into what appear as letters. He makes out the letter T and K and G but his mind is spinning and he does not hesitate to look back down.

He might not be able to scream for help but he's _scared_. He stares down at his feet, the drain. He can't bring himself to look back up now that his hallucination has the better of him.

_Because that's what it is. It's just a hallucination. It isn't real._

A sudden drip disturbs Kurt from his thoughts. It's loud and it's echoing as it falls by Kurt's ankle. It gets louder as the dripping becomes faster and Kurt doesn't know what's going on. Before he can investigate however, a sharp shooting pain is coming from his arm. _What the hell—?_

He stares mouth open as sharp slashes appear on his skin. It's like an invisible knife is slicing at Kurt. Hallucination or not he bolts out of the shower, quickly wrapping a towel around his arm, much too scared to process anything. Fumbling, he pulls over his tee and slides into his pants. As he runs out of the showers, he catches Brittany alone in the hall.

"Brittany!" he yells out.

She turns up and looks at him with a tentative smile. "What's wrong, unicorn?"

"Can you do me a favor? Please!"

Brittany's look is conspiring. She stares down at her wrist to check the time even though she's not even wearing a watch.

"G_th_ka," Brittany says.

"What?"

"Have leprechauns buried gold in your ears, silly? I said WHATEVER. What do you need?"

Kurt doesn't have time to question her sanity, "Can you go in the shower and tell me if you see anything on the wall?"

Brittany doesn't respond. Instead she simply walks past Kurt and heads for the showers and disappears.

The hand that is suddenly on Kurt's shoulder causes him to jump.

"Did you get enough privacy in there, punkin?" Nurse Beiste smiles, but before too long she notices the blood that is seeping its way through Kurt's towel.

"What did you do?!"

Kurt tries to hide it, "It's nothing… nothing…"

But Nurse Beiste is obviously not stupid. "What the HELL did you do to yourself?!"

She blows a whistle and grabs Kurt's uninjured arm tightly. Within seconds, orderlies from all in the hospital are rushing to Beiste's aid. Even some curious patients have come out to witness the scene.

Kurt isn't able to move much as there are at least three orderlies holding him down but he scans the crowd and sees Brittany's face among them.

"Brittany!" he yells out, not sure whether her appearance has caused him relief or if it's the massive blood loss in his arm which is making him so light-headed. "What did you see?"

Brittany folds her arms and shakes her head disappointed. She points to her brow and taps her forehead. "This is all you have Kurt Anderson. The rest is all dust."


	6. Marlboro Boy

BEHIND BLUE EYES

By _paperstylehearts_

**Warnings: **Fiction Rated **M** – See FF for details.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Glee or Gothika.

~.~

Chapter Six

_Marlboro Boy_

~.~

Through the glass window in the small room, Sebastian watched as Head Nurse Sylvester skillfully cleans and bandages Kurt's arm. Somewhere behind him, he can hear Nurse Beiste talking to Dr. Schuester about what's just happened but he's not sure if he's all really here right now. Everything since Kurt's accident came as a shock, and everything that's followed since Kurt woke up has been one surprise after another, but watching the scene in front of him makes Sebastian realize that he's not sure how much longer he can hold it all together - and he's always been someone who's held everything together perfectly.

He didn't _plan_ to fall in love with Dr. Hummel. He didn't plan to fall in love with _anyone_ actually - least of all a man who was in the process of separating from a very messy marriage. But that's the thing about love. You can't control who you're attracted too, or how it happens. All that is certain is that when you do find it, your life changes and there is no turning back or denying it.

"I'm so sorry - I looked away for a second!" Shannon said, "I know it's unacceptable but it won't happen again."

Before Sebastian met Kurt, his job was enough. It was all that he could ever see himself married to. He was the number one lawyer in all of Lima. He even outshone his father, as well as his father's main and toughest competition – The Anderson Firm.

Competing against the Anderson Firm had so far been the strongest move of Sebastian's career. They were stubborn and ruthless and fought tooth and nail - and they had a winning percentage that was nearing the nineties. Sebastian had almost turned down one of his biggest clients when he found out that the Anderson Firm was on the defense, but if he hadn't taken the case, he wouldn't be as renowned as he was now.

And he wouldn't have met Kurt.

"It's not your fault Shannon," Dr. Schue said quietly, placing an arm on her shoulder, "If it's what they want, patients always find a way to hurt themselves."

Shannon nodded, her eyes downcast, "I get it. I just never picked Kurt for a cutter, that's all."

Sebastian still remembers the first time he saw Kurt. It was just before the recess the judge had called was coming to a close. Sebastian had planned to go over and shake Roy Anderson's hand, prove he wasn't scared of losing the case, and discovered that Roy's son, Blaine, had stepped in for the interim and that he didn't have time to do something as trivial as shake Sebastian's hand because he was about to have coffee with his husband.

Or at least that's what Kurt had told him before Blaine had even had the opportunity to open his mouth. Sebastian was immediately hooked by his confidence.

He googled him, found he was making a name of himself in psychology, and the idea to work with him was planted.

The rest, as they say, is history.

Nurse Beiste glanced over at Sebastian and both she and Dr. Schue noticed him staring through the window, brokenly. They exchanged a sympathetic look with each other and when Shannon nodded, Will let go of her shoulder and walked over to where Sebastian was standing.

"You okay?" he asked.

Sebastian was trying to be professional. But he was only human after all. "What do you think?" he asked flatly.

Dr. Schue sighed. "Look, Sebastian, if this is too much, I understand. I mean I'd rather not, but I can call someone else to—"

"No," interrupted Sebastian, "No one else. It has to be me."

Schuester turned around to Beiste silently asking for help. They had already talked this through and she had the heads up with an idea of what she was going to say.

"Punkin, you're a mess. You're not eating or sleeping properly and you're being negligent of all your other clients. I know you have other lawyers from your firm helping you out with that but as for Kurt… you only _minored_ in psychology. Perhaps it would be better to get someone in with a little more credit and maybe not someone so closely connected to Kurt."

"It's not an option," Sebastian argued, "I can do this."

The door behind them opened and Sue stood there, dusting her hands. "Well he's all yours, Timon. I'll have some orderlies escort him to his cell in five which means you have two minutes to quit your pity party and get your ass over there."

Sebastian said nothing and met no one's gaze as he strode out of the room. He had the feeling that they were all watching him go; he could feel their stares on the back of his head but he bit his tongue and did not turn around.

* * *

The atmosphere in Kurt's tiny cell is extremely tense. Both men are staring at each other silently and Sebastian doesn't want to be the first one to speak. In all honesty, he doesn't exactly know what to say.

"Did you mention to the cops that it was you I tried to call that night?" Kurt asks quietly.

"No," Sebastian says strained.

"Why?"

"I didn't think that would help you."

Kurt ponders silently but he is still a little lost. "What does _that_ mean?"

Sebastian sighs. No one else is here. No one else can see them. This is a confidential, private session and damn it Sebastian has had enough.

He reaches for Kurt's hand.

"It means they wouldn't have let me treat you if they thought I had any kind of involvement in what happened."

His nerves suddenly get the better of him and he swiftly breaks their hold, apologizing.

Kurt doesn't react. "_Did_ you have any involvement?"

Sebastian shakes his head. "No. You never made it to my place. We got disconnected and I tried to call you back but I couldn't get through. I waited for you all night."

"Why didn't you tell me this before?"

Sebastian wants to hug Kurt. He really does. But he's already slipped once and if he truly wants what's best for Kurt he has to remain professional.

"Because the only way you'll be able to accept these events is if you remember them on your own. My job is to assist you in processing that information because you're not in a frame of mind to do it by yourself."

Kurt can see right through what Sebastian is trying to do. "You're changing the subject."

"The subject is you don't trust me."

"Right now, I don't trust anyone."

Kurt stares at Sebastian. While he hasn't been able to be in control of all his memories, his escapades with the dashing lawyer are slowly coming back to him. A fancy dinner. A night at the theatres. A few nights in a hotel. Some at Sebastian's house. And it was all in secret. _He was really important to me at one stage_, Kurt thinks. _He must have really meant a lot to me especially if I was going through something with Blaine._

Sebastian isn't staring back at Kurt. Well, not his face anyway. He has his eyes fixated on the bandage that has very tiny pinpricks of blood seeping through to the surface even if Sue had dexterously wound it on.

He points at Kurt's arm, "You want to talk about that?"

Kurt takes a resigned breath and slowly shakes his head. What he _wants_ is to wake up from this goddamned nightmare.

"I want to talk to my lawyer," he tells Sebastian.

Sebastian raises an eyebrow before he shifts uncomfortably. "Kurt, do you even know who your lawyer is?"

The door opens up behind them and Nurse Sue is standing there. "Sorry kids, times up. I've got a strict schedule to stick to, and to ensure that these ladies get their fresh air on a daily basis, Porcelain needs to be in the hospital's garden as of… now."

* * *

When he gets to the garden, Kurt just wants to be alone. He finds a bench nearest to the fence and sits down with only the constant _thwip_ of the sprinklers to distract him. He breathes in and out slowly. The patients seem relaxed here but Kurt isn't. Kurt is very on edge.

"You look like a Marlboro Boy."

Shielding the sun from his view, Kurt looks up to see a patient offering him a cigarette. She's got short blonde hair and is heavy on the eyeliner and unlike Sugar's botched dye job, this girl has a bright pink streak running through her hair.

"No thank you," Kurt says, "I don't smoke."

She looks surprised. "Could have fooled me. You really look like you could use one."

Kurt watches as she lights the cigarette with a match stick. He has an eye out on the entrance of the building, like he's keeping an eye out for someone, but it looks like he has a few spare minutes.

"You know what?" he says, "What the heck?"

He takes the offered cigarette and fills his lungs with the tobacco smoke. The girl takes out another one from her carton but doesn't have another match to spare so she uses Kurt's already lit one.

"They allow me one match at a time and pretend they're not watching but they're not very good at it. Check it out. Salivating homophobic goon number one at three o'clock, oh so-inconspicuous goon number two at five o'clock."

Kurt follows her gaze and sure enough two orderlies are closely watching them both. It doesn't take long for him to realize…

"So what did you set on fire to wind up here?"

She smiles. "Very perceptive, Doc. I burnt down a cop station. I left, no found, my—_well_, a_—_baby at a doorstep and called the cops but of course the assholes never showed."

Kurt doesn't know what to say. He turns to check the entrance building again and this time finds exactly who he is looking for. He stands up and turns back to the girl.

"Thanks for the cigarette… er…?"

"Quinn," she smiles.

"Sure. Thanks Quinn."

"See you round, Marlboro Boy."

Kurt ashes his cigarette and follows Dr. Schuester to where he is hurriedly walking to his car.

"Will!" he calls out.

Dr. Schue keeps walking, whether or not he hears Kurt is still undetermined and he seems in a rush. Kurt however _is_ determined and so he calls out again.

"Will!"

This time Dr. Schue turns. His first instinct is to smile but he seems to check himself as though the small action is somehow now deemed inappropriate. He masks his face with the most professional look he can muster.

"Hello, Kurt."

"I was wondering if I could talk to you," Kurt says quickly.

"Of course," Schue begins to say but then when he looks at his watch, "…Actually, I'm about to—"

"Your staff meeting's done and Thursday's you don't schedule till the afternoon," Kurt interrupts, "This will only take a minute, I promise."

Dr. Schue is impressed that Kurt remembers his schedule so perfectly. "You know what? You're right. Although, I really don't have a lot of time. Sheriff Wes is waiting for me."

He points over to the parking lot. Through the fence, Kurt can see Wes' police car and the man himself waiting outside by the door. He turns back to Schue.

"It's about Sebastian."

"What about him?"

"I don't think he's the best person to be treating me."

Kurt knows that no one knew about him and Sebastian. They might have not been doing anything wrong but they had preferred to keep everything under wraps until Kurt's divorce had been finalized with Blaine. Kurt is almost in disbelief that even Schue didn't know; he saw the man as family. He has no intention to tell him now, even if he does think that will help him find another therapist, but he soon realizes that maybe he doesn't have to.

"Are you complaining about his methods or are you referring to the nature of your previous relations with him?"

Kurt is shocked. There is only one way that Schuester would have drawn this conclusion.

"He told you?" he says quietly.

"He explained that there might be a conflict of interest because he has feelings for you."

Kurt nods, still speaking softly, "And what did you tell him?"

"I told him that we're all adults here and that with all things considered I _need_ him to treat you. Shannon disagrees with me, says he's not coping, saying his lawyer duties aren't to scratch because of it, but I disagree. He's got a brilliant team working for him and filling in for his absence. The fact of the matter is, with you in here, he's the best doctor I have on my staff. As such, and given the severity of the charges you face, I consider him the most qualified person to assist your recovery."

Schuester turns around to wave at Wes who is noticeably impatient so he turns back to Kurt. "I'm really sorry, but I don't have any more time. I have to go."

Kurt watches him leave, feeling a little bit like an idiot. Sebastian is smart – of course he would get to Schue first. He _knows_ Kurt would have made this move so he had to do something. Again, Kurt is nerved that Sebastian knows him so well. Lost in his thoughts, he jumps when he turns around to see that Santana is standing right in front of him.

"Hello Lady Face," she says.

He sighs, "Hello Santana. To what do I owe this pleasure?"

She crosses her arms, unable to believe that she is going to admit this, "I need your help."

"Go on…"

"There is a homophobic bitch of an orderly who works here and who has it out for me because I'm as gay as the day you were born. She's making my life a living hell and I'm pretty sure her and her husband who unfortunately also works here are in league with the Devil."

For a second, Kurt actually thought he'd be able to have a normal conversation with Santana. And then she had to go and mention Satan. She seemed so serious about what she was saying though, as though she really believed that the Devil existed. It couldn't hurt to play along for a while.

"What do you need me to do? If they're homophobic, surely, they'll have it out for me also?"

But he has lost Santana already. She is running across the garden straight to an orderly and has thrown her against the floor and pinned her down. Kurt rushes over to where everyone is watching the scene unfold.

"Were you giving me the evil eye again, huh? You fucking voodoo witch, I'm onto you!"

Santana has the upper hand in this fight and she is abusing the shit out of this orderly. The only other orderly on site has disappeared, probably gone to get back up. It won't be long before he returns though.

"You think you can try to help me?" Santana argues, her voice filled with anger. "Why don't you suck my dick?"

Always ready to break up a fight, Beiste suddenly appears and pulls Santana off the orderly.

"That's enough, Lopez!"

Santana is kicking and screaming like an animal. She tries to break Beiste's hold and punch at the orderly some more who is already sporting a bloody lip.

"It's fine Shannon," the orderly says and Kurt notes that she too has a heavy Spanish accent, "She's okay."

Beiste disperses the crowd, ordering Santana away, and takes a quick look at the orderly's lip. "Well, you won't need stitches Consuela, but you got lucky. I _told_ you not to go on duty when Lopez is out – I think she has it in for you."

Kurt leaves Beiste and Consuela to rush over and find Santana who is on the opposite end of the garden now. He needs some questions answered.

"What was all that about?" he asks her.

"You're welcome," Santana replies. "I did that for you more than I did that for me. Bitch shares the surname with the guy you hacked open."

Kurt shudders as the description but nods once, "Her name is Consuela Eristavi?"

"Yep. Her dick of a husband is Peter's brother. Now they be hating on us because of our sexuality. What is this? Am I wearing a fucking pink triangle?"

Kurt doesn't answer but Santana keeps talking anyway, "I don't care why you did what you did. I'm in no position to judge. I killed my cousin because he got what was coming to him and I'm sure you axed Peter because he probably had what was coming to him too, right? What I _do_ care about is that his asshole brother and sister-in-law are suddenly hating on all us gays because of the beef between you and Peter. And the fucking Devil is in league with them. It's not right Lady-Face. It's just not right."

Kurt stares around at their bleak surroundings when something suddenly catches his eyes. He looks up to see Sebastian staring at him from an office window but when he notices Kurt he slides the curtain shut.

* * *

Nights are always the hardest. Kurt can't sleep. _Again. _He is sick of how many tears he has wasted over this place, especially in this cell, but that doesn't stop him from crying again freely. The wardens are on their rounds but Kurt isn't paying them any attention. He repositions himself on his stomach shutting his eyes, unaware that there is someone else keeping an exclusive eye on him, and him alone.

He doesn't know this but when the wardens leave, he is still being watched. A young boy, of eight years old, stays back and watches Kurt sleep.


	7. Appointments

BEHIND BLUE EYES

By _paperstylehearts_

**Warnings: **Fiction Rated **M** – See FF for details.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Glee or Gothika.

* * *

**A/N: **Thank you so much for everyone's support! I know this took a while but this semester at college has been busy! I hope you enjoy this chapter!

**FIC REC: **Missing Persons by **countingcrow16**. It's the sequel to _United States of Kurt__**! **_I highly recommend you read both of them!

_For __**rakestrawberry**__because McGee can put a ring on it…_

* * *

Chapter Seven

_Appointments_

Kurt feels restless when he gets up the next morning. He supposes that after crying himself to sleep, restlessness in the morning is to be expected. He is startled however, to learn that he is not alone in his cell. Nurse Sylvester is busying herself in his room. When she sees Kurt awake, she remains silent but hands him his medicine and water.

After Kurt swallows the pills she finally asks, "How are we feeling today?"

Kurt raised an eyebrow, "_We?_ Doesn't seem the right choice of words in this place, does it?"

Sue smiled. "Looks like you're fitting right in, Porcelain. Come on, you have an appointment."

Sue led Kurt to the hospitals' library. It was mostly empty save the librarian at the counter, a janitor busying himself tidying up, and a very distinguishable man carrying a briefcase, dressed in a suit and bowtie.

"_Blaine_," Kurt said, very much surprised to see him, but at the same time gracious of the fact. He knew he'd be meeting with his lawyer today, Sebastian had told him that much, but he hadn't realized that he would be meeting with Blaine. Kurt also knew that while Shue was important in the decision that allowed Sebastian to treat Kurt, he had no idea how he this meant he had wounded up with Blaine as his lawyer too. Kurt had mixed feelings about this meeting; he was relieved to see Blaine and yet he was also nervous.

Despite the fact that he was dressed well, the Blaine in front of Kurt was no different to the one Kurt remembered seeing in his dream; the Blaine who hadn't shaven, who looked too-tired, who obviously worked too hard. He looked up at Kurt, his expression dead-pan. "Kurt," he said simply.

Sue cleared her throat as if to alert them of her presence. "Porcelain's due back in the rec room in twenty, Counselor."

Blaine's voice was dry. "Thank you, Nurse."

Still overcome with shock, Kurt sat down in the chair in front of Blaine. He waited until he was sure Sue was out of hearing range before he began.

"Blaine," he repeated, "How are you? I've been so w—"

"I'm going to stop you there. I'm here as your lawyer, Kurt. To put things bluntly, I can't let whatever my relationship was with you effect that. So first things first. How are they treating you?"

Kurt doesn't answer Blaine. His bandage is itchy and nothing about this conversation is sitting comfortably with him. "Cut me a little slack here, Blaine."

"Okay." Blaine agrees, fidgeting with the papers on his desk. "Since you know this place better than anyone, I'll rephrase. Is the way they're treating you anything out of the ordinary?"

"You mean aside from the fact that everyone thinks I'm crazy? No."

Blaine sighs, almost frustrated. "Look, Kurt, I cannot stress the urgency of your situation enough. The DA is pushing for a hearing as early as next week. At this stage our only shot is to… is to plead temporary insanity."

He almost looks guilty as he says it and it's Kurt's turn to sigh. "Blaine. You _know_ me. The last time I ever attacked anyone was that Botox bitch with the Louis Vuitton handbag during the Black Friday sales. Isn't it remotely possible that somebody else attacked this guy and I just went into shock?"

Blaine shook his head.

"So you're telling me that there's not even at least _one_ other suspect in this case?"

"We have neighbor's reports of screams coming from the Eristavi house. They have you at the scene, they have the murder weapon, and they have your prints everywhere. The only thing they don't have is the motive."

Kurt looks down at his arm. His bandages are still itching him. He notices that the adhesive Sue used is thinning out so he absently plays with it as he talks to Blaine. The first bandage begins to peel.

"Because there is no motive," Kurt says quietly.

"Exactly," Blaine agrees, "And that's what's confusing them. The fact that you're a brilliant psychiatrist doesn't help either. They're starting to get ideas. They're assuming that if you were to plan a murder you'd know how to plead insanity to get out of it."

Kurt takes a moment to absorb Blaine's words, continuing to play with his bandage. He pulls the bandage all the way down halfway. The slashes on his arm are still fresh and raw and Kurt begins to notice some very similar letters etched across it.

"I'm not faking anything," he said confidently, raising an eyebrow. He hadn't cut himself. He _hadn't_.

"I didn't say you were," Blaine says. As he speaks, Kurt notices that Blaine's frustrations are starting to sound a little more annoyed too. "The point is—"

"The point is I'm the only one who believes I didn't kill Peter Eristavi. I never thought I'd say this but I feel like I'm in the middle of a conspiracy."

"Do you even remember Peter at all?" Blaine asks quietly.

"No. Sebastian said he officiated our wedding."

"He did." There was a slight pause. "He was… a really good friend of ours."

Kurt nods. How do you even add anything to that? "His brother and sister-in-law are giving Santana a hard time."

"What do you mean?"

"She says it because she's gay."

As Kurt looks over to him, finally, a flash of—a flash of _Blaine_—shadows swiftly across his familiar hazel eyes - but it's gone as soon as it's come. The same Blaine Kurt remembered before the one he had visited in his dream. Kurt realizes something in that moment and he has to ask.

"Do _you_ believe I'm crazy?"

The silence is enough. It doesn't matter if he was trying to hurt Kurt's feelings or not - Blaine takes too long to answer and Kurt feels humiliated. Unable to meet Blaine's eyes he looks down again. His bandage has annoyed him for the last time, so without hesitance, he rips the whole thing off.

A single word adorns his arm: _Gothika_. It's written in large capital letters by someone who was clearly upset and taking up most of the room on his arm. It's been almost too perfectly carved there. He suddenly wishes Brittany were here. She'd know what it meant.

But she isn't here. She isn't here and Kurt can't stand the look Blaine is giving him. It's the look that clearly says _I feel sorry for _you. But Kurt has more pressing matters – like the fact that there _is_ a word cut into his skin. Startled at the discovery of the confusing word on his arm, he moves out of sync, slightly disoriented, knocking over a glass of water in the process. It runs all over Blaine's stupid papers and onto the floor but Blaine does nothing, doesn't even move the glass. He just sits and stares at Kurt with _that_ look on his face.

Blaine's voice is soft. "It doesn't matter what I believe."

Involuntary tears streak down Kurt's face. He wants to add something but doesn't want to waste his energy because he realizes then that it won't even matter. So he thinks back to a time where he remembered things to be true and valid and real.

"Who's Travis?" he asks.

Blaine finally picks up his glass of water. "What?"

"Travis," Kurt repeats. "We were in some bar and you were talking to me about somebody named Travis."

Kurt knows he dreamt it but he won't let go of the fact that he was dreaming a memory. He has to know that that is true; he has to believe that he isn't crazy. Especially when he's the only one.

"Are you trying to be funny?" Blaine asks, choking up. "How can you even ask me that?"

Kurt doesn't know what reaction he expected but he's not backing down without answers.

"Surely you've discovered that amongst other displeasures in this place, I am suffering from a bout of amnesia. So either you can enlighten me with the information, or you can continue to pretend that I know what you're talking about."

Blaine shakes his head, as if snapping himself out of something. "Of course," he says knowingly. "Your memory lapse… well, since you asked… Travis Heasman was the name of the child we were trying to adopt. Suffice it to say the adoption fell through, our marriage collapsed because of it - and then you decided to fuck around with Sebastian."

"What? You mean to tell me you knew about that?"

"Of course I did! You didn't exactly keep it a secret. In fact, as I recall, you wanted me to know. You wanted to do things the 'right' way. Ha! A memory lapse and you remember _that_."

So much for trying to act professional. "Actually, I didn't remember anything. Sebastian has had to fill me in on a lot of things. Look Blaine, I'm s—"

"Don't," Blaine said firmly. "Don't apologize. We didn't work Kurt, not after what happened with Travis. You were right to seek comfort in Sebastian because we both weren't treating each other very good in the aftermath of the adoption fall out. But look… all this happened long ago. Right now, it's not important. What _is_ important is that we get you the most minimum penalty at the hearing. Because quite frankly Kurt, I think pleading insanity is all that's gonna save you."

* * *

Later that afternoon, Kurt had another appointment with Sebastian. But he's spent enough for one day. He hasn't spoken since their meeting started and Sebastian doesn't know what to do.

"I can't help you if you don't talk to me."

Kurt still doesn't say anything but he notices how Sebastian's eyes wander to his right arm and stare at the word written there. He brings forward his hand to reach out to Kurt but as soon as he touches him Kurt draws back.

"What does it mean?" Sebastian asks referring to the strangely written word.

Kurt shakes his head. He doesn't know. But he is torn between suspicion and his need to confide in someone so after a moment he finally admits something.

"…I _didn't_ write this."

"Then who?"

The two men look at each other. There is a lot of sadness in both their eyes but Kurt can see that Sebastian really wants to help him. There is no doubt in Kurt's mind that even now Sebastian still has feelings for him. But the situation is anything less than romantic.

"Please Kurt. You need to trust me."

Kurt shuts his eyes and squeezes them tight repeating something once said to him not so long ago. "How can you trust someone who thinks you're crazy?"

Sebastian sighs. He has to hand it to Kurt. He knows the reference he is making. He was after all there when Santana had said the exact same thing.

Kurt continues. "I want to trust you Sebastian, I do. I'll take your word for it – that you had nothing to do with this – but then you need to take mine. I didn't kill Peter Eristavi."

Sebastian nods once, quickly studying Kurt's face. "Okay. Let's say you didn't write th—"

"One: I'm right-handed. Two: I would have had to bring an X-Acto knife into the shower to do this, right?"

Even Sebastian has to admit that there is a strange sort of logic to Kurt's words. But something is holding him back from believing Kurt entirely. He pushes forward a manila folder and opens it ushering a series of photos towards Kurt.

"I think it's time you took a look at these."

The photos… they made Kurt want to throw up. They were _horrible_. There was one that showed the larger part of Peter's body – the biggest part they could find of him. It was covered in blood and not altogether recognizable. There was another picture of the axe. And then, there was a picture of the wall, with a word written in blood:

GOTHIKA

Kurt throws the photos back at Sebastian but they miss and hit the floor. "Why are you showing this to me?"

For a brief second, Kurt closes his eyes. As he does so, a scene flashes in his head. He sees himself writing on a wall in blood. He wipes his face breathlessly, a trail of crimson staining his cheek. He snaps out of it and stares at Sebastian.

"I'm showing it to you because you wrote it." Sebastian says.

Kurt stands up immediately out of his seat, "No I didn't! I didn't!"

Sebastian leans over and picks up the photographs. He pushes it forward to Kurt again. "You are the only person who can figure out what this means. Try and remember. Stop holding back."

Sebastian continues talking but there is no voice coming from his mouth.

"Sebastian?" Kurt asks and he can hear his own voice but when Sebastian answers him back it's still only as if he is mouthing Kurt's name.

And then Kurt sees him.

The little boy from McMahon Bridge is standing right behind Sebastian.

Kurt panics."No, no, no! Sebastian turn around!"

Sebastian stands up from his desk but whatever he is trying to say to Kurt is still silenced. The little boy walks from behind Sebastian through his desk and right up to Kurt.

"No! What are you doing? Stay away from me! Sebastian, help me!"

The little boy is only very brief. He takes Kurt's right hand and Kurt is too panicked to move. From the corner of his eye he can see Sebastian yelling at him – his name probably? – but it's as if Sebastian can't see the little boy or hear Kurt either.

Kurt focuses again on the small child holding his arm. He is trying to be brave but he's also trying not to lose it all at the same time both of which are proving to be very difficult. The little boy traces his fingers around the scars on Kurt's hand and as he looks into Kurt's eyes finally presses into the word with one small finger.

Kurt yells out. The boy's touch burns his skin, very reminiscent of the night he had his accident. The word 'gothika' erupts into light on his arm, tendrils of lights slithering across the letters. Kurt's head is killing him and there is an overwhelming sense of dizziness pounding right at his very brain - and then suddenly he drops to the floor in a heap and blacks out completely. The ghost stands over to him to watch. And then he claims Kurt's body as his host.


	8. Murder He Wrote

BEHIND BLUE EYES

By _paperstylehearts_

**Warnings: **Fiction Rated **M** – See FF for details.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Glee or Gothika.

~.~

**A/N: **We learn a lot about what happened to Kurt in this chapter. Every time I think of Kurt, I feel so horrible for being so mean to him… which didn't make this easy to write! Anyways, you'll soon see! Feedback would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you so much for reading! Your continued support means the world to me!

Special thanks again to **kurtbastianfics**on tumblr for now featuring this story on their blog! I am in debt to you guys!

~.~

Chapter Eight

_Murder He Wrote_

~.~

**_…Seven days earlier…_**

The Eristavi Brothers were as close as two brothers could possibly be. In fact, even though Peter Eristavi lived on his own, Robert and his wife Consuela were always over at Peter's house. It was exactly why they were over for dinner right at this very moment. They were family; it didn't matter that they didn't live with one another.

"Connie, you've really outdone yourself tonight! This food is absolutely delicious!"

"_Gracias _Peter," Consuela acknowledged in her thick Spanish accent, "But if you want to keep eating like this type of foods, you're gonna has to shave! I see you, and I thinks you Robbie, no?"

Peter chuckled, stroking his almost non-existent chin beard. "Haha. Nice one, Connie. Do you have work tomorrow?"

"Why?" Rob asked interrupting the conversation, "The hospital's not closed is it?"

"No…"

"Then of course she'll be at work!"

It turned out that even though the food was fabulous, the dinner was not proving to be one of their nicer times spent together. Peter turned to Connie hoping for an answer to Rob's questionable irritability but she was purposely avoiding his gaze. She didn't like coming between the two brothers. Peter sighed and spoke up. "Care to explain what's bothering you, brother?"

Rob shook his head in disbelief. "Have you not seen my busted lip?" he asked, frustrated. "Connie's going to help me take that bitch down, right babe?"

Consuela reached out to hold Rob's hand but he refused it. He wanted her to say he was right; he didn't need her physical comfort. Needing something to do, Consuela stood up and began clearing the table. "I already told you, you _let_ her get to you," she mumbled, as she disappeared into the kitchen.

Peter shook his head, "You need to start listening to me. I told you _I_ would take care of it," he said sternly. "But for the record, I really don't understand this vendetta you have towards her."

"You wouldn't," Rob said shaking his head, "You're a fucking fag hag."

"Yeah?" Peter questioned, a little offended at the insult, "So what if I am? What if I do love hanging out with homosexuals? What if Blaine and Kurt are the closest friends that I've ever had? What are you going to do about it?"

"You don't need them! You have me!" Robert complained, "Or is that why you got that stupid license? Just forget them. I can hook you up with other guys if that's what you _really_ want but you'll never be with either of them! The sooner you get that, the better."

"I don't care!" Peter argued, "That's not what I want anyway! You know, it would be nice for you to acknowledge for once in your life that these are just both two men who are very good friends of mine, okay?" Peter paused, taking a moment to catch his breath. "After what happened… I owe them…"

The simple admission frustrated Rob. "You don't owe them a fucking thing, Peter."

"Yes I do!" Peter shouted but he was immediately silenced by an uncomfortable noise. It sounded as if a deep banging seemed to be coming from under the house. None of them seemed as surprised as they should to hear such an unsettling noise.

"And then," Rob snorted, "You wonder why I _don't_ listen when you say you're taking care of it. You can't even control what's happening in your own house, how the fuck are you going to help me with the problem at the hospital?"

Connie returned to the table. "Is everything okay, Robbie?"

Rob didn't answer immediately, "Yes it is. C'mon babe, we're leaving."

Peter saw them out. They said goodbye and Peter locked the door behind him.

That was the last time Rob and Connie ever saw him again.

~.~

It was getting late. Peter had just finished renewing his adult onlys subscription on TV when Blaine had texted him asking if he'd seen Kurt, but Peter had told him he hadn't heard anything. He'd also received a phone call from Rob earlier but other than that all was quiet and now, after very much enjoying his money's worth with the latest adult only episodes, he was sleepy. He was almost ready to go to bed in fact when the doorbell rang.

Peter looked up from the TV strangely. Who on earth would be calling in on him at this hour? Perhaps he should ignore it and pretend he was asleep. Or maybe he was just hearing things.

But then the doorbell rang again. It couldn't be Rob or Connie because Peter had got off the phone with Rob, not ten minutes ago, and he knew for a fact that they were both at home.

When it rang a third time, Peter finally decided to go see who it was. He left the TV on and walked over to the door, opening the chain and peering outside. Odd. He couldn't see anyone. He unclasped the security chain on his door and opened it wide stepping outside into the cool air, just to make sure. Peter hadn't taken _that_ long to come to the door after the third time and whoever it was couldn't have gone far. He shrugged. Maybe he _was_ just hearing things.

He turned around and headed back inside to lock the door again. But when he headed towards the TV, he jumped – Kurt Hummel was standing right in front of him.

"Kurt! God Almighty, why in the world would you sneak up on me like that?"

Kurt didn't say anything. His head tilted to the side, his gaze never leaving Peter. It didn't take long for Peter to realize that something was wrong. Kurt was normally pale but he was ghostly white tonight. His eyes were wide and blank, and as he sauntered over to Peter, he wasn't walking right - and he had an axe in his hand.

"Kurt?" Peter asked a little terrified, "W-what are you doing?"

Again, Kurt didn't reply. There was a look of pure hatred in his eyes. Eyes that didn't seem to be his. Peter couldn't understand what was going on but before he could comprehend that he was in immediate danger, Kurt swung the axe angrily. Instantaneously, it sliced Peter's shoulder as he cried out bitterly, falling to the ground in agony with blood spurting everywhere. The look of shock on his face could not be matched.

Peter tried to crawl back, away from Kurt and into the next room, but the injury had left him in so much pain. Kurt continued his unsteady, shaky move towards him, the axe swinging dangerously in his left hand. He loomed over Peter raising the axe above him a second time.

"NO! Please KURT – DON'T!"

But Kurt was on autopilot with one agenda. None of what Peter was saying would have any effect on him. He attacked Peter again and again and again, repeatedly hitting him with the axe.

"I'M SORRY!" _Smack._

"NOOO!" _Smack, smack!_

"DON'T. PLEASE." _Smack, smack, smack, SMACK!_

Peter's speech is no longer comprehensible. He is shaking in agony on the ground as Kurt watches him do so. And then Kurt twitches. His breathing gets heavy and he closes his eyes. His body begins to jerk some more and the axe falls from his hand. He moves the hair out of his face only to leave a thick streak of blood on it.

Peter is crawling on his hands and knees in shock. He moans horribly making his way to the next room, desperately reaching for the coffee table with the telephone on it. After one failed move to grab it, he pauses for just a second. He has all the speed of a dying turtle. He reaches for the phone again.

Kurt finally stops twitching. His head jerks to the side involuntarily but he picks up the bloody axe and continues his unsteady pace into the next room where Peter is. Kurt bites his lip. The axe is thick with blood and already a heavy item, becomes even harder to hold now that it is also incredibly slippery.

He swings the axe up above his head, one last time, just as Peter manages to curl his fingers around the phone. But he never makes the phone call. Kurt's axe has hacked into him for the last time. He pulls it out and then, even though Peter is clearly dead, swings it at him again. He cuts and chops Peter into pieces stumbling in the blood underneath him as he does so. The blood has stained the walls and is now spilling all over onto the floor which doesn't faze Kurt. His gaze averts up and for a second he catches his reflection in the mirror. Only it is not his face he sees - it's the little boy's. Kurt clumsily flings the axe at the mirror and it shatters into pieces.

He can't walk straight but he hurries for the bathroom, his footprints leaving blood stains everywhere. When he reaches the sink, he tries to wash the blood off him but it's not an easy task given that he's covered in it. He turns around and stares at the marks on the door handle, towels and wall. He gasps for breath, tears running down his face as he cries and turns on the shower at full blast, literally crawling into the tub.

_What just happened? What's going on? I don't understand. Nothing makes sense…_ Something doesn't seem right, doesn't feel right. Why is his head hurting him so much? He lets his body sink into the tub and curls up underneath the hot spray. He is crying and shaking all at the same time and he can't seem to control any of the emotions in his body. Kurt shuts his eyes – all he wants is for everything, everything to just go away…

~.~

Kurt doesn't know how long he sits in that tub. It could have been hours, days even, but it's impossible to know. It is only when he startles himself awake that he realizes he must have dozed off. He sits up, every muscle of his body is aching and his hair is caked with blood.

The first thing that hits him is the stench. And it's foul. It's the putrid smell of decaying flesh but Kurt is no expert with that. He's never killed a man before.

He steps gingerly out of the tub onto the flooded floor and follows the trail of blood, witnessing the fruit of his labor. Peter Eristavi is lying on the floor pooled in his own blood. Kurt gasps for air and is suddenly hit with a wave of nausea. He falls to his knees and hangs his head low as he vomits, unable to control the sickness pouring out of him.

He doubles over again when there is a sudden frantic rapping at the front door. Kurt freezes. He can hear voices and yells from outside. The hinges on the front door rattle under the repeated pounding and Kurt is still standing there as the first fireman breaks in.

Sheriff Wes and his deputies follow in right behind him. Behind them, a shocked Sebastian and Blaine wait in the sidelines.

The cops take one look at the place and raise their guns towards Kurt. None of what they are saying makes any sense to Kurt. It's like a cloud has shifted over his head and all he can hear is ragged breathing. But at the sight of the guns, something seems to click inside him and he turns on his heel and flees. He slips on the blood and nearly falls as he scrambles upstairs.

Kurt locks the door behind him, hyperventilating in terror. Instantly, he can hear pounding against the frame. He peers out the window and spots another two police in Peter's backyard. He feels like a caged animal, completely surrounded. Not knowing what else to do, he covers his face with his hands, trembling. The doorknob is shaking violently and Kurt feels like he's drowning in sensory overload. When he brings his hands down off his face, he is staring straight into the eyes of the little boy who opens his mouth wide...

~.~

"Oh God, Oh God, Oh God…"

"Kurt? Kurt! Kurt, wake up!"

Kurt opens his eyes to find himself back in Sebastian's office. He looks up at the man in front of him and begins to sob. He rocks back and forth, finally aware of what he's done. He is the killer. No more doubts. And now that he knows that, everything is much, more bad. Kurt is absolutely devastated. He looks up at Sebastian, an entirely different person. He feels completely destroyed. Sebastian crouches down and takes his hand.

"Are you okay?"

Kurt shakes his head slowly. He continues to hold Sebastian's hand tightening the grip but Kurt sets his other hand on Sebastian's shoulder. He turns to him and hugs him tight, holding on for dear life, as he breaks down into uncontrollable sobs.


	9. Pictures of You

BEHIND BLUE EYES

By _paperstylehearts_

**Warnings: **Fiction Rated **M** – See FF for details.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Glee or Gothika.

~.~

**A/N: **

~.~

Chapter Nine

_Pictures of You_

~.~

Silently and deep in thought, sits Blaine in his temporary makeshift office. He thinks back to how he even has one. It's courtesy of Dr. Shue who was quick to accommodate him under the circumstances for why he was here. Still he is very grateful that he even has an office at all. It's been well over a few minutes but Blaine has just been sitting here thinking. His hand comes to rest over Kurt's file and he quickly skims the pages there, glancing threw it. The hearing is getting closer, and despite some bizarre instincts causing him to think otherwise, the best shot they have is _still_ to plead temporary insanity. He can't understand why he feels there might be something he's overlooking. Maybe it's because Blaine _knows_ Kurt. And that could very well be the problem. Maybe he has to start looking at this as if he doesn't know him at all.

A scheduled knock arrives at the door and Blaine doesn't need to look up to know that it's Sebastian Smythe silently seeking permission to join him in his office. Even though Kurt had told Sebastian that he had made it very clear to Blaine that they were involved, because they were hiding their relationship from everyone else, Sebastian felt awkward around Blaine.

"How much does he remember?" Blaine asks Sebastian continuing to glance through the pictures before him.

"I'm pretty sure all of it," Sebastian reveals, taking slow steps into the room. "It all came flooding back yesterday."

"Guilt?" Blaine assumes.

Sebastian resists the urge to roll his eyes. He knows Blaine is just trying to do his job but it still nerves him. "I wouldn't say guilt exactly. More like an uncontrollable reminiscence. It sounds as if Kurt actually re-lived his memories in great detail."

Blaine nods; he doesn't imagine how that might feel because he cannot under any circumstance let his emotions come into play. "Hypermnesia… " Blaine concludes out loud, "A specific epileptic element could have also been involved." He's only throwing out ideas but Blaine… he can _feel_ it; he's desperately clinging for any reason at all that explains why Kurt did what he did.

Sebastian seems surprised and not for the first time does Blaine not have to look at him to read his face.

"What is it, Sebastian?" Blaine asks on cue.

"Nothing…" Sebastian replies even though it clearly is _something_. "It's just… hypermnesia and epileptic elements is exactly what Kurt also suggested. And while what you both said sounds very plausible, I'm just in awe that even in his present state, Kurt's instincts about such things remain flawless."

Blaine's expression remains neutral. "I need to talk to him," he says.

~.~

It's about half an hour before Blaine gets to see Kurt. He's not surprised that Sebastian hasn't left; he is sitting beside Kurt and they are both sitting across from Blaine. From what Blaine observes Kurt is a wreck. This is the worst he's ever seen Kurt look - even after what happened with Travis in the aftermath of the failed adoption. Kurt's eyes are downcast and unfocused and it looks like he's been crying a lot. Much too long ago, Blaine would have been sitting on the chair next to Kurt and Sebastian would be here in Blaine's place. But Blaine hasn't felt that way about anyone in a long time. Not since Kurt. He doesn't think he can live through that kind of heartbreak again. In fact he's put up a wall against those kinds of emotions.

Kurt's trying very hard to appear composed. He knows what he must look like. Sebastian spent all of last night with him in his cell, holding him, and Kurt was too defeated to ask him to leave. He wonders when Blaine got this office and if he only had it because he was Kurt's lawyer. The office is still rather devoid and impersonalized but Blaine has started to add himself in here. His diplomas hang on the wall and there are a few books on a shelf behind him. The meeting between them seemed so casual but there is nothing casual about the situation at all.

Blaine attempts to smile at Kurt but realizes that he must be coming off as condescending so he stops. The fact is – there's nothing to smile about.

"I'm so sorry about this, Kurt."

As Blaine says it, Sebastian turns to Kurt who is tightly holding onto his hand. "Did… Did Blaine tell you about the hearing?"

Kurt nods. "He's filled me in." His voice is strained. He doesn't sound like Kurt at all.

"Kurt?" Blaine sighs, "I'm going to do everything in my power to help you. But that means I'm going to have to prove you're not fit for trial. I just—"

Blaine stops. Kurt isn't listening to a word he's saying and it's because of that that Blaine doesn't know how to continue. He looks to Sebastian for guidance but Sebastian silently motions for Blaine to be patient. Kurt, on the other hand, is in a world of his own. He is distracted by a picture of himself and Blaine on Blaine's desk. Only…

"Who is that?" Kurt asks.

Blaine doesn't need to look at the photo to know what picture Kurt is talking about. But again, momentarily forgetting about Kurt's memory relapse, he chokes.

He turns to Sebastian, "I thought you said he remembered everything!"

Sebastian ignores Blaine but, taking the photo from Blaine's desk, hands the frame to Kurt. "Just take your time, okay? You don't have to answer straight away. Are you sure you don't remember who this little boy is between you and Blaine?"

Kurt is confused – except he's certain of one thing. "_This_ is the little boy that I saw!"

Blaine shakes his head and talks before Sebastian can, "Kurt, I think you're just a little confused."

Kurt doesn't believe it. He looks over to Sebastian but finds that he agrees with Blaine. "Give yourself some credit, Kurt. You've been through a lot."

"No, I'm positive about this! He was hurt. What happened to him? Is he okay?"

When neither of them seems to answer Kurt's question, he pipes up again, "Blaine, how do you have this photo of the three of us?"

Sebastian and Blaine share uneasy looks between each other. This doesn't go unnoticed by Kurt so Sebastian reassuringly holds his hand, "Kurt, maybe it's better if—"

"No!" Kurt argues, "I'm not wrong about this! Blaine – tell me what happened? Is he okay?"

Blaine sighs, "No he's not… okay." His voice is quiet; he almost chokes again as he speaks. "Kurt, this is Travis Heasman. The young boy we were trying to adopt."

The room goes deathly silent. It's been a long, long time since Blaine really spoke of Travis. He had done so well hiding his emotions when Travis was brought up by Kurt the other day but now he doesn't know how much longer he can keep it all together.

"What happened to him?" Kurt asks quietly.

Blaine opens his mouth to explain but the words just won't come out.

"Kurt," Sebastian interrupts, "You're not in the right frame of mind and I don't think this conversation is a good idea. And Blaine doesn't look comfortable talking about this either."

"No," Blaine says, "It's fine. He needs to know." Blaine takes the photo of the three of them from Kurt's hands and looks down at it. His face is full of pain. If Kurt looks defeated, Blaine looks broken.

"After we'd made the decision to become parents, Kurt, we met Travis in an orphanage not far from here. He was only seven years old but he was the oldest one there and as soon as we saw him, we knew he was ours. He loved us. He was particularly fond of you. It was a fair few months, but with my father's firm behind us, within a year everything was finally in order for the adoption to be processed, a lot sooner than most cases and then… then in what would be the most awful period of our lives, Travis went missing on his way home from school. We don't know how, the bus stop was only about fifteen hundred feet from the front of our house and the bus driver reported seeing him off the bus. He was gone for weeks and then we finally got a call from Sheriff Wes and his team. They had found him, or rather his body, bruised up and beaten, by the McMahon Bridge."

Kurt doesn't know what to believe. He is stunned. He can't bring himself to speak. How can he not remember his own son or that this had happened to him? Was the memory too painful for his subconscious to keep?

And what about the fact that Travis was found by the McMahon Bridge? Did that mean Kurt saw Travis as a ghost? Had his son has been _appearing_ to him? Kurt is absolutely shocked. He's a psychiatrist, and a great one to boot. He has never believed in ghosts and he knows full well what the situation now sounds like to Sebastian and Blaine - especially given the fact that he's already admitted that he saw Travis the night of his accident.

"Sebastian?" Blaine asks breaking the too long silence, "Can I speak with you?"

He nods in agreement even if he is extremely worried about Kurt. Or maybe even because he is. "Sure," Sebastian says, "I'll just take Kurt to the rec room first."

~.~

Kurt is sitting on a couch by himself in the recreational room eyeing the girls he has slowly become friends with. He doesn't feel particularly like hanging with them today even if Quinn and Sugar are playing cards and even if he does love joining in. He's got too much on his mind and none of it has to do with the fact that Santana is nowhere to be seen. She must have been somewhere on her own because he would assume she was off with Brittany, except Brittany is standing right in front of him.

"Hi Brittany," Kurt says. There is no tone to his voice but he is actually happy to see her.

"Hello Kurt Anderson," she says, "You look like crap."

That was Brittany for you – ever the honest one. Kurt shakes his head with a smile because the notion that she could be so honest with him was one that he welcomed. Too many people were hiding things from him in here or being too fake for his liking.

"Brittany?" Kurt asks as she sits beside him with some crayon and paper, "Do you believe in ghosts?"

"Doesn't everyone?" she asked. Kurt resists the urge to say no. And then, because he know Brittany would not judge him If he asked her, he says, "What do you know about the ghost that's been haunting me?"

"Travis Heasman?" Brittany questions, and he's not surprised that she seems to know his name. "He's a creepy kid, Kurt. All I know is that sometimes when I look at you, I can see him."

Kurt nods. None of it makes sense and yet it all makes perfect sense. "And why do you think that is?"

Brittany doesn't hesitate to answer. "Gothika," she says.

This time Kurt doesn't ask her to repeat herself. He's heard her clearly. And after seeing the word slashed across his arm and painted in blood across the wall, she's the only one who can help him find out what it means.

So he asks her.

"What does gothika mean, Brittany?"

Brittany sets aside her crayons and with permission, takes Kurt's right arm. She rolls up his sleeve gently, and then very lightly, traces the letters that are etched there. "That the ghost of Travis Heasman is inside Kurt Anderson."

Kurt looks down at the letters as she traces them on his arm. He repeats what Brittany says in his head and then he looks back down at the letters carved there.

Now he understands.

~.~

That night, Kurt can't sleep. He's tired as all hell and he's spent but he can't seem to fall asleep at all. His cell smells awful which doesn't make any sense because Kurt knows this place well and it doesn't smell that bad. He sits up slowly and leans his back against the wall.

Suddenly he has an idea.

"Travis?" he says and then immediately regrets it. "Oh this is stupid… Paranormal activity can be debunked in so many ways. Look, I don't know if you can hear me, but I'm letting you go. I'm setting you free. But you need to also let me go. Because I'm tired. I don't believe in ghosts and I'm fully aware that this is all in my mind – a concocted alternate reality – my brain attempting to reconcile something in itself because of what happened to you… and I acknowledge it. In fact, I'm done with it."

A few moments pass in the darkness. Kurt breathes out slowly. He is actually proud of the outcome. He feels like a huge weight has been shifted. In fact now that he's admitted that out loud, he can feel sleepiness creep its way back in. He lies back down. His eyes are heavy.

"Besides, if you were really the ghost of my son Travis Heasman, you would let me out of this cell."

And then Kurt hears it. The sound of the deadbolt as it slides and the door opens.

"Holy shit."

~.~


	10. Follow Me

BEHIND BLUE EYES

By _paperstylehearts_

**Warnings: **Fiction Rated **M** – See FF for details. This chapter deals with some extremely sensitive issues. If you are prone to be triggered by sensitive issues, or are not in a stable sense of mind at present, then I strongly urge that you **PLEASE DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER.**

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Glee or Gothika.

~.~

**A/N: **After posting the last chapter, I realized that I didn't include the author's note! Haha, oops! Thanks for being patient everyone and thank you so much for reading! This _will_ be a long story; at the moment I've currently mapped over twenty chapters so I really do appreciate the support. If you haven't yet seen _Gothika_, I would NOT encourage that you do, as it does contain spoilers. But if you _have_ seen it, then I hope you enjoy how I've kept it both similar and different. Leave me a review and let me know what you think! **PLEASE NOTE THE WARNINGS AND DO NOT READ IF YOU DO NOT THINK YOU ARE SUITED TO HANDLE THE MATERIAL.**

~.~

Chapter Ten

_Follow Me_

~.~

If proof is what Dr. Kurt Hummel wanted then proof is what he got.

_This isn't real. This has got to be a dream._

Tentatively, Kurt walked up to the walls of his cell and felt the smooth stone beneath his fingers. The walls were definitely there, solid and tangible, and he was much more aware of this then he would be in a dream. Continuing on his observation, he moved his fingers to trace the solid glass door and as he outlined the frame of it he realized it was very real too and that the door was very much open.

Not something that he could have dreamt.

Carefully, Kurt stuck his head out the door. The glare of the neon lights causes him to readjust his eyes as he glances down the long hallway. There's nobody there. But when he looks down the other way, he sees a very familiar small boy.

"Travis?" Kurt says quietly, but his son just gives him a pained looked, turns, and disappears into the wall. His walk is very uneven, unnatural. The way he moves in fact, is very reminiscent of the way Kurt walked the night Peter died.

Kurt shakes his head and deliberately walks in the other direction. He doesn't bother to turn and see if Travis is following him or not.

Right in front of Kurt is the nurses' station but Kurt is glad to see that Sue and Beiste are too busy watching TV. Quickly, he moves out of sight, ducking under the window and moving further down the hall.

Kurt stops by a small sanitation closet. The door is open but the loud laughter of Nurse's Sylvester and Beiste distract him so much he almost trips over the mop and bucket. He is lucky enough to find a screwdriver he believes might come in handy later so he takes that and pockets it and continues.

Kurt was lucky in one aspect – having previously worked here meant that he knew exactly where all the surveillance cameras were. Because of this, Kurt keeps close to the wall, timing it right so that he can cross from floor to floor. It really helps that he already knows his way around here too.

He makes it towards his old office. He hides for a few more seconds waiting for a janitor to move past and then he bolts straight for the door. He takes out his screwdriver and begins fumbling with the lock. The truth is he has no idea what he is doing or if it's even going to work. Kurt has only slightly loosened one of the screws when the door automatically opens up for him.

"Thank you," Kurt whispers quietly, pocketing the screwdriver again.

His office seems stale and unused – like no one has been here in a while – maybe not even since he's been admitted. He crinkles his nose at the layer of dust that has formed over his desk and is only a little surprised when his Mac spurs to life and turns on, the trademark apple sign glowing blue and providing the only light in the darkness of the office. He doesn't have to think hard to figure out how his laptop turned on of its own free will.

"Travis…" Kurt whispers into the darkness knowingly. He waits for his Mac to load and stares at it in the dark. Beside him is another monitor and as Kurt accesses it, he is surprised to see that the security passwords are still the same and he now has access over all the surveillance cameras in the building.

Kurt keeps an eye on the janitor on the other screen but luckily he is busy with a cup of coffee. As dim as the light is in here though, Kurt looks around the room and realizes that the glow of the Mac will probably be seen through the crack of the door, so he removes his sweatshirt and uses it to block the light.

When he returns to his computer, he loads Google and types in "Travis Heasman."

"Okay bud," Kurt whispers, "What happened to you?"

There are various listings. One that archives Travis' funeral and another news articles that reads LITTLE BOYS LOST. With a glance at the surveillance camera, Kurt can see that the janitor is mopping just outside his office. His eyes grow wide. One wrong move and the janitor could very well come through this door and discover him. He tries not to think about it too much and even though his heart is beating crazily, he turns back to the article:

_Police and neighbors are continuing the search for three young Ohioan boys who have been missing in a series of unexplainable events. Nine year old Alexander Revesby disappeared two years ago, six year old Daniel Adams disappeared within the following year, and as of recent, Travis Heasman, seven, was reported missing by his parents on his way home from school only three weeks ago. Police Chief Wes Hughes reports that authorities do not know what happened which has prompted them to issue an Amber Alert on Friday. _

_Hughes said that Heasman's fathers, Kurt and Blaine Anderson, were able to verify that Travis went missing a mere fifteen hundred feet from the front of their house after being dropped to his usual bus stop by the local driver._

Kurt printed the article and stuffed it in the pocket of his pants, hastily skimming the internet for more information. He soon found another article:

FOUND AND LOST

_After a three year search, the body of nine year old Alexander Revesby was found today by local police. Chief Wes Hughes could not yet confirm if officials believed if the outcome of Alexander's fate was in any way linked to the discovery of the body of Travis Heasman, 7, who was found washed up by McMahon Bridge five days earlier, but are continuing their investigation. The whereabouts of the still missing Daniel Adams, 6, remain unknown but while police are confident that no more children are likely to go missing, the chances of Daniel's safe return home are very slim._

_ The alert notes that Daniel is 4 feet, 6 inches tall, has strawberry blonde hair, has blue eyes and weighs about 57 pounds. _

Kurt doesn't realize he is trembling. He doesn't know what happened to Travis. He wishes he did. He wishes he knew what happened to Alex and Daniel and his son – were the disappearances linked? Is this what Travis needed him to find out?

Kurt pairs the second article with the first and slams down the lid of his Mac. He only jumps slightly when he sees the face of Travis staring at him from behind it.

He grabs his sweat shirt from underneath the door and puts it back on hastily. A quick glance of the security camera reveals that the janitor is walking away. Kurt watches him disappear down the hall.

Retracing his steps, Kurt shuts his office door and runs for the stairs, successfully avoiding the surveillance cameras a second time but as he reaches just where he needs to be he can hear voices coming from his way.

Making a detour, Kurt heads down another corridor and hides from view. Over his shoulder he can see Consuela exit down the stair case. He thought she was an orderly here? Judging from her uniform however, she is definitely a janitor.

Kurt makes quick movements past a couple of patient's rooms but stops dead when he hears a strangled cry coming from the room behind him. It sounds like the voice of someone he recognizes.

He turns to the small glass pane on the door and peers inside. It's so dark that it takes a moment for Kurt to readjust his eyes. But when he does he can make out two figures involved in some sort of struggle. Desperate to help, Kurt presses his face against the glass spotting a flash of metal, a sharp object but not a knife.

A needle.

If only for a second, Kurt recognizes Santana. But a second only because she doesn't look quite right. Her eyes are glazed and there is drool hanging out the side of her mouth. She is slapped down on her bed like a rag doll and the stranger with her enters Kurt's view.

Kurt immediately flinches, confused. He checks both ends of the hallway, making sure that it is just him alone in the hallway before staring back into the room. Santana is on her stomach in bed. Her pale naked caramel skin is marked with scratches and bruises. The needle is stuck in her arm, which hangs off the side of where she is laying. Her mouth is open but it is impossible to tell whether she is laughing or crying. Abruptly, the man climbs on her and starts to pull off his yellow t-shirt.

Kurt gasps bangs on the glass and then he hears it.

"HEY!"

Turns out, he isn't as alone as he thought he was in the hallway. Consuela has seen him and right now - she is running straight for him.

Kurt breaks into a run of his own and bolts down the stairs. He can hear thundering footsteps and yells right behind him. Kurt races down the empty floor towards an emergency exit door all the way at the end. Behind him, Consuela and another janitor, en route with his coffee still in his hand emerge and give chase, shouting for him to stop. Around him, patients are hollering at Kurt, excited by the commotion from outside their cells and awakened by it too.

Kurt's heart is beating so fast it is nearly bursting through his chest as he get closer to the exit door… twenty feet… fifteen… ten…

From beside him, a side door opens and a man in a familiar bright yellow polo shirt blocks his path. Kurt tries to avoid crashing into him but his speed carries too much momentum. Kurt veers against the wall but is too easily tackled by the strange man who pins him down just as easily.

Consuela and her janitor friend are closing in. Kurt is pretty sure he can hear Beiste's voice mingled within the commotion too. At this stage, Kurt is hysterical.

"It's him! It's him! Jesus Christ, it's him!"

The man in the yellow shirt acts as if he has no idea what Kurt is talking about. He steps aside just as Beiste takes over, a glistening needle in her hand…

All too soon, Kurt blacks out. But just before he does he cannot be more positive about one very obvious thing.

Because he's pretty sure he was just staring into the face of the supposedly very dead Peter Eristavi.


	11. Level Five

BEHIND BLUE EYES

By _paperstylehearts_

**Warnings: **Fiction Rated **M** – See FF for details.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Glee or Gothika.

~.~

Chapter Eleven

_Level Five_

~.~

Dr. Will Schuester is a characteristically calm person. He gets stressed out easily but he is the glue that holds the hospital together. Head Nurse Sue Sylvester will be the first to put up her hand and say that he uses an odd amount of hair gel on his head, enough to rival that bowtie loving lawyer, but even she will admit that he is a rather calm, collected species of man.

…Except for right now.

Right now, Will is furious. He is on his absolute _last_ straw. Sebastian, Blaine, Sylvester and Beiste remain quiet and do not say anything under his rant.

"Am I making myself clear? This is the absolute _last_ concession of special treatment that I am giving to Kurt Hummel!"

Sebastian is surprised to see Blaine show a little attitude as he rolls his eyes. "Look, can you at least tell us what hospital he's being transferred to?" There is a harsh impatience to his voice that Sebastian takes note of.

Will doesn't answer straightaway. He doesn't want to seem like a total pushover but—

"Kurt is… Kurt's not getting transferred. I'm keeping him here."

Sebastian seems suddenly awake now. He was hoping to fly under the radar during this particular meeting and have it over like a ripped Band-Aid but now - it's as if he can finally breathe again. "But you said—"

"I know what I said!" Will interrupts impatiently. "But Kurt's been moved to a higher security room on the fifth floor… Is something funny, Sue?"

Everyone turns to stare at the Head Nurse who is laughing quietly to herself in the corner. She nods, "Actually yes. Watching you try to act like a total dick is totally hilarious. But I will add this—I'm glad you didn't transfer Porcelain. Don't shoot me for saying it but I kinda like the kid."

"I will _not _be making any more compromises!"

"Good for you, Mr. Gel-O."

Even Beiste needs a moment to compose after that. It puts Sebastian on edge. He doesn't think anything is funny at all, regardless of what's being laughed at. The way he sees it, having Kurt out of his room at night was not entirely all Kurt's own fault. "So exactly how does your night staff explain this, Sylvester?"

Sue admires his courage but _really_. "Porcelain's door was properly locked. What else do you expect them to say?"

Blaine stares between the two of them and clears his throat, "Could there be any truth to the claim Kurt made?"

They all know what Blaine is referring to. Nobody can completely say what happened to Santana. Or is it that they don't care? There's also the fact that the man Kurt thinks he saw attack and rape Santana is Peter Eristavi.

Will looks at Blaine tiredly. "Anderson - we have over _one hundred and forty_ employees! Plenty of them wear yellow shirts, I know the maintenance guys do – it's their uniform. I'm holding a very discrete enquiry sure, but I will not have vans parked outside for news day and night. It seems much more likely that Kurt tried to escape and got caught, doesn't it?"

Sebastian absolutely hates Will in this moment but there is something that even he can't quite shake off. He knows he will regret the words as soon as he says them. But his hands are tied. He loves Kurt, more than anything, but he is extremely very worried about him right now.

"I perused Kurt's files on Santana Lopez. He was very… comprehensive. Maybe - maybe he was a _little_ bit obsessed with her…"

Beiste and Sylvester share a look. Neither of them had expected Sebastian Smythe to say _that. _With a nod of encouragement from Sue, Beiste clears her throat. "The scariest gift that the good man from above gives us is our minds. And a bright kid like that Hummel? Who knows what he's thinking now that his minds all snapped… It makes sense though that he would think that he saw that Peter Eristavi. He and Robert were twins after all."

~.~

Kurt sits in the chair of his new cell, completely numb as he stares out the window. He has much more of a view even if half of it is obstructed by even thicker bars. Sebastian is standing, his back leaning uncomfortably against a metal desk, his arms crossed in front of him, watching Kurt. The Kurt before him is deteriorating before his eyes and he doesn't know how to help.

He might be a lawyer but he's also a goddamn therapist, a minor in psychology, and he doesn't even know what to say.

"Kurt, I—"

"Were we sleeping together before Travis died?" Kurt asks, quietly interrupting.

Well at least it's a starting point, Sebastian thinks. He doesn't know how answering this will benefit Kurt in any way but he has to freaking say _something_.

"No," Sebastian finally replies, "None of that happened until months after his funeral."

"Did you know my son?"

Sebastian shook his head but realized that that was pointless as Kurt still wasn't looking at him; he had his gaze fixed out the window.

"No, I didn't know Travis. I didn't even know who you were until months after Travis died. It was during my first trial against the Anderson Firm and there you were. You were there to support Blaine but it wasn't long after I met you then that I realized it wasn't a healthy relationship. And then I learned why."

"_Why_?" Kurt asked, almost impatiently, his Hummel sarcasm ever present.

Sebastian took a deep breath. He wasn't sure Kurt was going to like this story very much.

"Blaine started… he started drinking a lot after Travis. The thing was no one was ever able to solve just exactly what happened to Trav, or who it was to blame - if anyone - and Blaine couldn't let it go. So he'd drink, and he'd get short-tempered, and he was never violent with you, but he might as well have been for all the pain you felt from it."

"And so I turned to you?" Kurt concluded.

"Yes, but you felt guilty about it. You knew you and Blaine were long over before you even started anything with me but after everything that happened with Travis you still wanted to be there for him. We were never public with our relationship, even after you did end up telling Blaine about it."

"But… Travis… What do you think happened to my son?" Kurt shakes his head; he still can't believe that would happen to his little boy, to _any _little boy. "How do you think he died?"

Sebastian sighs. _Why_ are they having this conversation? Travis died a _long_ time ago. He didn't think or expect Kurt, or even Blaine, would ever get over it. But talking about it like this now was opening old wounds – and it wasn't doing anything to help Kurt. Because Sebastian remembers what it was like to have to comfort Kurt losing his son and he never wants to see Kurt look that sad or broken again.

"Judging by the autopsy, I'd say he met with a rather unfortunate accident. It was sort of assumed that maybe he didn't walk straight home, that maybe he decided to take a detour and fell into the river but…"

"Fell?" Kurt questioned, "Sebastian, his body was _beaten_ and _bruised_! You don't get that from _falling_—"

"Yeah, that's what you said the first time. Blaine questioned it too but—"

"And I suppose Alexander just _fell_ too, and when they find Daniel, he's going to have met with an accident where he just _fell—_"

"Wait, Alex? Daniel? Who are they? What are you talking about?"

"Sebastian, look—"

"I don't know where you're going with this Kurt, but I don't have much time with you during consultation anymore, not since you've been moved up here to level five anyway. We need to get back on track."

But Kurt wasn't ready to let go yet. "All I'm saying is that these three boys, my son included, just simply _disappeared_. It took the authorities _forever_ to find Travis, even longer to find Alexander, and they _still_ haven't found Daniel. And when they did find Travis and Alexander, why on Earth was it covered as an accident? This can't be a coincidence! Doesn't it even seem a _little_ strange to you?"

"Yes but—"

"And why didn't _I_ do something about this? Why was Blaine the only one working on the answers?"

"Believe me, you _both_ tried! There was definitely effort put into finding out what happened to Travis but Kurt you… you were the only one who could convince Blaine to let it go so… so you did. You convinced the number one lawyer in the Anderson Firm that he should drop the case."

Kurt is immediately surprised by this. He is also confused. That doesn't really sound like something he would do.

"Why on earth would I do that?" Kurt exclaims, in an attempt to process his thoughts out loud. "Why wouldn't I fight to the death to find out what happened to Travis?"

Sebastian seems resigned and more than a little impatient. He brings a hand to his face to rub against his temple. "I hate to repeat myself but I'm asking again - _where_ are you going with this, Kurt?"

_I think I know why Travis is here. He couldn't accept that I accepted the fact he was gone. But right now it's all becoming…_

"It's just all becoming a little bit clearer to me that Travis didn't just disappear. Something _happened_ to him, Sebastian. And I find it really strange that Alexander's death was covered up too and that more isn't being done to find Daniel. I mean, c'mon, don't _you_ think it's a little unusual?"

Sebastian takes the article and stares at it. "I don't see how you think all the disappearances are linked. For starters, Alexander's body didn't have one mark on it. He was poisoned – and not deliberately. His parents said he had an active imagination and that he liked to wander off a lot. He got into contact with something that he was allergic to. It was an _accident_. You want to know _how_ you accepted Travis death? Because just like Alexander's parents knew their son, you knew yours. You knew Travis had a strange connection to McMahon Bridge – you knew he liked to hang out there a lot. When all the _logical_ evidence pointed to him falling in, you _knew_, thinking like an outsider and not a parent, that that's what happened to him. I don't know why _now, _after it's been such a long time, _why_ you've decided to bring this all up again. Maybe your subconscious hated you for accepting it and it's all come to boil at the surface now, I don't know."

_Maybe Travis never accepted it_, Kurt thought, _That's why he's here again…_

"I need to talk to the reporter who wrote these articles," Kurt decides out loud but Sebastian doesn't agree.

"You can't."

Kurt is immediately annoyed, "Look I know my visitation rights, Sebastian. I beg to differ."

Sebastian folds back the article and hands it again to Kurt. "You can't because… he died."

Kurt's taken back, "You're telling me the one reporter who wrote about three highly suspicious disappearances has conveniently died?" 

Sebastian's trying to be patient but maybe Kurt is trying to grasp at straws here. "Artie Abrams was an old guy in a wheel chair with a major in journalism and a very serious spine injury that got worse as he got older. He wrote several articles for the newspaper that made everything look stranger and more mysterious than it really was - but that was his job."

"Maybe someone didn't like what he was writing."

"Don't be ridiculous, no one killed him for it, Kurt! Why are you even suggesting it? Look, I just told you how Artie died. Or did you just have another bout of amnesia?"

"Don't be like that Sebastian. Travis is somehow connected to what I'm going through." Kurt realizes he has to be very careful with where he is going with this. Talking about ghosts isn't going to help his situation much. "I don't know how – like you said I'm not in the right frame of mind to process the information without assistance. So I'm asking you for assistance."

Sebastian's eyes glaze over and he looks like he's about to cry. He takes Kurt's hands, desperately, into his own and stares at him. It's like he's begging him to understand. "Listen to me. You are not well, Kurt. I thought once you remembered the murder I could help you with your feelings about it but these… _fixations _that you have – with Travis and Santana – are self-created distractions to avoid looking into yourself. And the longer you look –"

Kurt throws Sebastian's hands away as if he's been burned. "Spare me the lecture, Smythe. I know it like I know the back of my hand."

Sebastian shakes his head. Looks at him numbly. "I'm sorry," he says and then without a moment's hesitation he leaves.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Hey guys. I'm going to come clean with you all and be totally honest with you –I _almost_ took an extended break from writing this story. But just so you're not left hanging, here's why. I have a number of stories on this site and I check the stats on them regularly. And I've found that this story in particular is attracting less and less people with every chapter. I don't mean to sound selfish or ungrateful at all but it does become increasingly difficult to continue to write something that is clearing losing interest to the general public further every time. Think of a TV show that gets poor ratings with every episode. Eventually the network is going to axe it even if there still might be several hundred people watching that show every week simply because viewer's interest statistically continues to decrease. The amount of hits that I have for this story in total is the same amount of hits that I have for one chapter of another story that I've been writing. And that's just one example.

But in saying all that I'm still not ready to give up on this story. I just can't wait until this verse is finally complete. It will be a milestone for me and you guys are awesome for helping me reach that.

I would also like to thank the few people who have supported me right to this very point: **Bloodgalore** & **GustinColfer** – I will forever be indebted to you guys and if the change in my mind had anything to do with specific people it was definitely you two.

But mostly I want to thank my best friend **countingcrow16. **You are my rock. I have no idea what I have done to deserve your friendship but you're pretty much the best thing to ever happen to me. My life is better for having you in it. Without you, this story would have never seen the light of day and certainly not have reached this far. I love you.

- paperstylehearts


	12. Don't Tell Daddy

BEHIND BLUE EYES

By _paperstylehearts_

**Warnings: **Fiction Rated **M** – See FF for details. THIS FIC CONTAINS MATURE AND ADULT THEMES AND IS NOT SUITABLE FOR MINORS UNDER THE AGE OF THIRTEEN.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Glee or Gothika.

~.~

**A/N**: I'm so sorry this took so long but I am extremely grateful for everyone's kind words and support. I promise you this story isn't going anywhere! To be honest, I had a bit of writer's block but I think it's safe to say that I'm back! Thank you for reading and, as always, please review! I honestly just need to know that you're still reading!

I've also been having a lot of problems with my internet connection and do not have the money or the time to get it fixed. So I apologize with the delay in updates!

**Important Note regarding the chapter: **The scene in the beginning of the chapter is in italics because it is something that happened in the past. If you don't quite understand write me a quick comment in the review box and I'll do my best to answer without giving too much away!

~.~

Chapter Twelve

_Don't Tell Daddy_

~.~

_ "Thanks for taking me to school, Papa."_

_"No worries, kid, just don't tell Daddy, okay?"_

_"Okay."_

_Kurt stares at Travis through his rearview mirror and smiles. He knows Blaine wanted Travis to catch the school bus but the kid has so many things to adjust to, the least he can do is take their son to school in his car until he's ready._

_"Papa?" Travis says suddenly, "Are we going over the bridge today?"_

_"We sure are! The McMahon Bridge, the same one we cross every day!"_

_Kurt focuses on his rearview mirror again to catch a glimpse of Travis in the backseat of his car but the smile he wore not two seconds prior has immediately faltered. Something isn't right. There's no denying the look on Travis' face – it's the same look Kurt wore every time he struggled with having to face his bullies everyday and it becomes immediately clear to him… that Travis is frightened. But what of exactly? _

_Kurt starts to drive a little slower. It's time they had a heart to heart. Travis might not be his son by blood but Kurt will be damned if that makes him any less his father._

_"Travis?" Kurt asks tentatively, "Is everything okay?"_

_Kurt watches as Travis stiffens in his seat. Something is most definitely not okay. Kurt continues to watch as his son folds his arms and begins to comfort himself._

_"Travis?" Kurt asks again._

_"Papa," Travis says quietly, "You stopped. The car is not moving."_

_Kurt breathes out, undoes his seatbelt, and turns to look at Travis properly. "Yes, I did stop. Because I love you and I'm worried about you. So I'm going to ask you again – is everything okay?"_

_Travis finally meets Kurt's eyes; he'd been avoiding them up until now. "You stopped on McMahon Bridge. Do you mind if we get out? It's peaceful here…"_

_Before Kurt can even nod his consent, Travis undoes his seatbelt and gets out of the car and walks over to the middle of the bridge. He stops, standing still right at the edge, staring at the water. Kurt hurries to join him. He is worried out of his brain but he can't let Travis know that. He has to be strong for the both of them. He has to be the parent. He puts a hand on Travis' shoulder. _

_"You're right," he says, hoping against all odds that Travis can't hear the nervousness in his voice, "It is peaceful here."_

_Travis turns to look at him. Kurt is shocked to see that there are tears in his son's eyes. He wants to reach out and hug Travis but Travis has frozen him to the spot with the look of sadness that there is on his face._

_"Don't tell Daddy," he whispers and before Kurt can even think to stop him Travis takes one step up on the ledge and falls freely backwards into the water. _

_It takes a split second for Kurt to react. _

_"Travis!" he yells and then before shouting his name again he removes his socks and shoes and tosses his shirt off too. From where he is standing, the river is flowing in the opposite direction so Kurt runs as fast as he can to the other side of the bridge and dives right in without thinking._

_The water isn't very deep. Kurt is sure that if it were any shallower, or were he any taller, he would not have made it in unscathed. But he can hardly think of himself right now. He bops his head up searching for his dear life – and then he finds his tiny boy caught in some wayward bramble by the river's edge. Since he doesn't have to fight the current of the water, it's much easier for him to swim up to Travis now that he knows where he is and the second their skin meets he scoops him into his arms._

_Travis' clothes are weighing him down and it takes all of Kurt's strength bringing him back to the car. He doesn't know how he brings him up the slope and over the bridge ; he's heard of those miraculous stories of mother's who bring their children out alive of burning buildings and he has to think that despite what just happened he is still a good father. _

_The main thing is that Travis has a pulse. Kurt doesn't know the first thing about CPR but it's amazing how something you learnt off a swimming instructor back in freshman year - whose name you can't even remember because you were distracted by his flawless abs - comes back to you. Within minutes, Travis chokes and splutters to life. When he looks up into Kurt's relieved eyes, he utters four words and his voice sounds so childlike Kurt is reminded of just how young Travis really is._

_"I wanna go home."_

_Kurt says nothing, simply nods and brings Travis to the front passenger seat where he takes residence on the seat to the left of him and drives them both home wordlessly._

_It is just after ten thirty that morning when Kurt hears from Blaine._

_"Kurt, what's going on? I got a call from the school saying that Travis wasn't in today?"_

_"Yes, I know, I kept him back."_

_And Blaine can hear it in Kurt's voice. How something isn't quite right. But he trusts that Kurt would tell him if it wasn't and he doesn't ask._

_"Is he okay?"_

_Kurt opens Travis' bedroom door slightly and peers inside. He is in a whole set of new clothes; in his little blue and red train set pajamas they bought the first night they had him home. He is also fast asleep. Kurt decides that Blaine's job is stressful enough, and that for now, the fact that Travis _**is**_ okay should be all that Blaine needs to know._

_"It was just a stomachache. He's fine."_

_"Put him on, I wanna talk to him."_

_"He's asleep, Blaine. Call a little later. I'm sure he'll be okay." _

_Except Kurt Hummel Anderson cannot know that for sure. He won't know that Travis is okay until he sits down and talks with him or takes him to see someone that he will talk too. _

_ Especially since it won't be the last time that Travis jumps off that bridge._

~.~

Kitty Wilde was over the moon when Head Nurse Sylvester said she could start working for her at Lima State. Admittedly, the shifts are long and the patients are _really crazy_ but Kitty loves it. She thrives off crazy. Except it's getting even later now and she's worked a crazy twelve hour shift. She needs a break.

She should have checked out of her shift a fare few hours ago. Except that she has unfinished business to attend to in the tiny supply closet she has currently locked herself in. She needs a cigarette. Thank God for Quinn Fabray because Kitty doesn't usually smoke except that right now, she really, really, needs one and Quinn was happy to deliver her request - for a stupid little box of matches.

It's dark in here but it's better that the lights aren't on; her cigarette will provide her with all the light that she needs in these few moments of nicotine heaven.

She is just about to light it when in the dark closet, she lets out a small scream. A pair of strong arms wrap around her. She tries to resist him but he is too strong. She struggles to fight him off but when the small dim light above both their heads comes on and she stares into his eyes, she finally relaxes, offers her attacker a smirk and then begins undoing the first few buttons of her top as he trails kisses down her neck.

"You can't be in here!" she says though her voice is almost purring at him. "You'll get us both in trouble!"

His hold on her is still tight but she finally manages to wiggle herself out of it waving a finger at him in protest. She's pointing accusingly at him but she's grinning too.

"Get out before we're both busted!"

Properly reprimanded, he prepares to leave, head hung low. "You wound me, Kitty," he smiles.

She smiles back at him. Now that he is gone, Kitty starts to redo her top again. She smiles quietly to herself and shakes her head.

Meanwhile, he is almost at the elevator, looking more excited than normal. As he reaches the elevator door, he presses the button a little too hurriedly and impatiently. It is also very obvious that he has shoved something down his shirt, something that he didn't want Kitty to notice that he took from the supply closet. But that doesn't matter because he's going to get away with again. Until—

"Hold it!"

It's Kitty. If he turns around now, he's busted. So he tries something a little sneakily and turns his head so that she can't see what he is hiding.

"What do you think I am?" she asks a little angrily but also a little playfully, "Laundry service?"

Relieved, he turns his head back to face the door. "Sorry, ma'am, won't happen again."

She tosses him a bright yellow t-shirt. His uniform. He slings it over his shoulder just as the elevator door closes and prepares a mental note for himself.

Robert Eristavi really has to be more careful when he's trying to steal sedatives from out of the supply closet.

~.~

It's lunchtime and the cafeteria is bustling with life. Considering he's being served what he knows to be prison food, Kurt is surprised that it isn't altogether entirely unappealing. But he still hasn't got his appetite back yet. It's funny how awakening in a mental hospital with no previous memories of a murder you've committed and the ghost of your dead son haunting you will do that to a person. As saddened as Kurt is though, he can't bring himself to play with his food. To the left and right of him, Brittany and Sugar don't seem to share his opinion. They are happily eating their food messily and having a conversation that just seems to fade in the background like white noise to Kurt's ears. On the same table, opposite to Kurt, Quinn taps an unlit cigarette. In the corner, as per usual, Beiste keeps an eye out on all of them.

"I miss Santana," Brittany says out loud to no one in particular.

Sugar turns and looks behind them where right in the far corner at a table all by herself Santana sits. The way Brittany was going on though, it was as if Santana wasn't even there. So Sugar questions Brittany about it.

"What are you talking about?" she asks, a little condescending, "Santana's right there."

Brittany rolls her eyes as if it wasn't the most obvious thing in the world. "I realize that but I think an alien sucked out her soul. She just seems missing from herself these days, you know? I should really email Lord Tubbington about it. I have a feeling he's connected to it."

Quinn spoons a mouthful of mash, not particularly interested in the conversation. "I don't even know why you're here Britt. You're not like the rest of us."

"Yeah," Sugar agrees, "We're all mental. Except Santana. She's the Queen of Crazy. But you're not. You're different, Britt. You must really love her, don't you?"

Brittany nods looking down at her food. "I know it doesn't seem like it now but she's the happiest person that I've ever met. A real optometrist."

"_Optimist_," Quinn corrects.

"Yeah, that's what I said."

Kurt takes a moment to turn around for himself and look at Santana. The first thing he notices is that Brittany is definitely onto something. Because even though Santana Lopez is sitting at a table all by herself, her food untouched and her eyes wide and glassy, it's really as if she isn't there at all.

Without really realizing what he is doing, he gets up, and as if being pulled by a magnet, walks over to Santana's table.

As soon as Kurt is out of earshot, Brittany speaks again. "He's all work that unicorn. Work, work, work."

"What are you talking about?" Quinn asks,

"He's like an alcoholic. But with work."

This time Quinn doesn't bother to correct her but she is curious. "What work?"

Brittany sighs, "Not safe to tell you. Wish I could."

Quinn rolls her eyes and returns her food. Sugar starts playing with her plastic cutlery and pretending that they can talk to each other. Brittany continues to eat. And Kurt finally reaches Santana. He watches as she continues to stare into nothing. Kurt doesn't even know what to say.

"I saw what happened," he says quietly, "I'm really sorry."

He isn't surprised but Santana doesn't react at all to his voice. "Santana?" he says, but she still doesn't reply.

"Look Santana—the person who did this to you is not the devil. And if you can identify him, I'll make sure the motherfucker is arrested."

It's as if something finally clicks and Santana tilts her head ever so slightly and her eyes flicker towards Kurt's face. "Ladyface, did you just say _motherfucker_?"

Kurt smiles. She's finally talking to him. He nods quietly and takes that as his cue to sit opposite her but this surprises Santana.

"You're not embarrassed to sit with me?" she asks.

"No. Why would I be embarrassed?"

"Because now that you're in the crazy house, you're the same as me."

Kurt sighs, "I'm not embarrassed."

Santana snorts, "They've trained you to say that."

Kurt can't help but feel that this was a bad idea. He's going around in circles again like he did when he first started counseling her. And he can't afford to do that now. He's not her doctor anymore.

"Forget it. Forget we had this conversation."

Kurt figures that he might as well get something to eat, hungry or not, but also realizes that he's left his food over at the other table. He gets up to leave but like a spider catching a fly Santana grabs his arm. Tightly.

"Do you know what happens next?" she says.

Kurt stares down at where her fingers have coiled over his arm and swallows. "I get the distinct feeling that you're going to tell me anyway."

"The shock wears off and the guilt kicks in. And that guilt is the real motherfucker. You'll be watched twenty-four seven, because they're afraid you'll kill yourself. Sebastian Meerkat Smythe will question every harmless gesture, every innocent comment, ever twitch you make and eventually… _eventually_, you'll stop hating yourself. But what replaces that hatred is this unbearable sadness. And you don't lose that for as long as you live."

She finally lets go of Kurt's arm picks up her plastic fork and spoons a mouthful of mashed peas. Effected by her words, Kurt sits down again. She stares at him for a brief moment and then hands him over a second plastic fork. Without hesitating, Kurt digs in and they share their prison food together.

~.~

Nights are still the worst for Kurt. It doesn't matter that the room is pitch black. He can't sleep. Nurse Sue Sylvester has put him on a fresh round of medication and he supposes it will take a few days to kick in but in the meantime here's a serving of insomnia while he waits.

In addition to the fact that he cannot sleep, Kurt is very aware that even though he can't see anything, there is a presence in the room. He assumes its Travis. But he's no closer to solving that mystery then he is to helping himself get out of here.

"Just go away," he says out loud to no one. "Please just leave me alone. I can't help you."

Kurt is talking to himself, he realizes that. Sugar is right, they all belong here. He certainly feels like a crazy person now.

"There you go! I've lost my mind, are you happy now?"

The silence almost echoes around him and Kurt sighs. But now the bed is creaking and Kurt is frightened because he's lying still. Why is the bed moving? Where in the world is the noise coming from?

"Hello, Kurt."

Kurt jumps and sits up straight. A small stream of moonlight enters the room and makes it a little brighter. He can see the outline of a familiar Latina woman that he recognizes. He wants to say Santana but he has a bad feeling about this visitor and there's just no way that it's her.

"So you saw Robbie the other night, no?"

"Consuela?" Kurt asks shaking his head, "How did you get in my-?" He doesn't finish the sentence because he can see the keys dangling in her hand.

And did he see Robert? Because he saw someone that looked an awful lot like Peter Eristavi.

…Which would make sense, Kurt suddenly remembers, since he and Robert are twin brothers.

"Yes!" Kurt says confidently, "I did see Robert! And I saw what he did to Santana! And I'll make sure he's in jail for it if it's the last thing I do!"

Consuela shakes her head and looks at him with an eerie smile. "Well, that's such a shame. Because now I'm going to have to kill you."

~.~


	13. Scene of the Crime

BEHIND BLUE EYES

By _paperstylehearts_

**Warnings: **Fiction Rated **M** – See FF for details. THIS FIC CONTAINS MATURE AND ADULT THEMES AND IS NOT SUITABLE FOR MINORS UNDER THE AGE OF THIRTEEN.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Glee or Gothika.

~.~

**A/N**: Hey guys! I trust that everyone had a safe and enjoyable Christmas and I wish all the best to you all in 2013. I want to thank each and every one of you for your continued support and faith in me and I hope you enjoy this next installment of Behind Blue Eyes. Please don't forget to drop me a review and let me know what y'all think!

paperstylehearts dot tumblr dot com

~.~

Chapter Thirteen

_Scene of the Crime_

~.~

The first thing that strikes Consuela Eristavi as odd is that her long wavy black hair is down and loose. It's unusual for her because for the six or so years that she has been working at Lima State Hospital she has always worn her hair the exact same way – tight in a bun on top of her head. It made her look older but the patients gave her less shit. And when you worked in the loony bin this was a good thing because most, if not all, the patients here were always going fucking _postal _and trying to rip each other's hair out, including your own sometimes.

She's definitely still at the hospital all right. How could she be anywhere else when there are those same dreary stone walls around her and the floor is tiled and white and cold underneath her and oh! The second thing she notices is that she isn't wearing any shoes.

It's dark in this room but not impossible to make out that there is a patient lying on the bed in front of her. She wonders who this crazy is but is surprised when she can't find a chart for them. _Every_ patient has a chart. Even as a janitor, she knows that. She has to keep her own guard in this place.

Strangely enough, there is something all too familiar about the woman lying on the bed. Her features are strikingly similar to Consuela's own _madre_ but that's impossible because she died a long time ago.

There must be some reason Consuela is in this room though.

She approaches the patient with caution. The patient isn't strapped down so Consuela doesn't want to take any chances at her feigning sleep and waking up to surprise attack her. Call her paranoid but she'd seen it happen to too many colleagues so if nothing else she liked to call herself careful.

But there was something that Consuela wasn't predicting to happen with this patient at all. It didn't matter how prepared she was, or even how careful she thought she was, she could have never seen this coming.

There was a reason the female patient in the bed was so familiar to Consuela. And it also had something to do with the fact that the patient looked like Consuela's mother.

Because the face of the patient that Consuela Eristavi stares into, moments before she falls onto the floor in shock, is her own.

~.~

Kurt slams his foot down on the pedal hard forcing the car to go faster. He is driving the hell out of this place, as far away as possible, but what he doesn't have is time. He needs speed – even if he has no destination. He has no idea where he is driving to. All he knows is that now he is out, he must keep driving.

_"Well, that's such a shame. Because now I'm going to have to kill you."_

Kurt squeezes his eyes tight for a split second forcing her voice out of his head before remembering that he is operating a car and that the only way he can focus on the road is with his eyes _open_. Fuck, why is he suffering from memory relapse again? And exactly how much has he missed this time?

He is really trying so hard to remember the details. So desperately hard to remember. Because the last thing he knows is that Consuela Eristavi was in his room telling him that she was going to kill him.

But then what?

Very faintly, Kurt's right arm begins to itch. He takes a moment to look down at it. It's been a while since the cuts healed but the scars are still there and the word _gothika_ is reflected back at him like it's hinting something. If for the first time, Kurt notices how childlike the writing is. Travis carved this word into him, he is sure of it. He was trying to get a message across.

The ghost of Travis Heasman is Kurt Anderson? More like the ghost of Travis Heasman is _using_ Kurt Anderson… He's not even an Anderson anymore! And he hasn't been for a long time. But truthfully, Papa Kurt Anderson was always who he was going to be to his little boy.

Kurt focuses on the road again trying to concentrate on an ideal destination because he still has no idea where he is driving to. He just needs to get far, far away. His brain is screaming at him. Did he kill Consuela? Is he really responsible for another murder? Kurt wouldn't do that, he _couldn't_ do that. Unless…

Could it be possible that Travis is responsible again?

When Kurt looks ups to focus on the road, he swears and slams down the breaks. A child is standing in the middle of the road. You'd think by now he'd be used to it. But the only thing different this time is that he isn't afraid. This time he knows it is Travis and he knows that Travis needs him.

After halting the car to a sudden stop, Kurt takes a moment to catch his breath before he undoes his seatbelt and gets out of the car. He pauses at the door before slowly walking over to Travis. It's as dark outside as it was inside the hospital but it's a lot windier here and brighter too. The stars are shining and the moon is even brighter, illuminating a clear glowing light over everything.

He stops when he reaches Travis. "You can't keep doing this to me," Kurt says, doing nothing to hide the hurt on his face. "You can't keep using me to hurt people. I want to know what happened tonight. I think I deserve to know."

Travis doesn't speak. Instead he raises his right hand and presses two of his fingers to Kurt's temple.

The second Travis' touch comes into contact with Kurt's skin, everything goes black. When Kurt reopens his eyes though, he discovers that he is in his cell again. He turns his head to notice that Consuela is sitting right next to him.

Consuela however, hasn't noticed that Kurt's head has begun to tilt to the right in a very weird angle. What she does notice is that Kurt's eyes are mysteriously black. Under her breath, she swears in Spanish. Kurt focuses on the fact that in her left arm she holds a knife, in her right, sedatives. He blinks once and as if on command the weapons fly straight out of her hands and into his.

He drops them immediately but they stay suspended in midair. Then he claps once.

Again on command, the sedatives fly straight into Consuela's neck. She makes a startled noise but doesn't even get time to pull the needles out as she falls straight in a heap onto the ground; her eyes fall close and her body becomes limp. Kurt approaches her, walking strangely uneven, and takes the keys to his room and the keys to her car. He stands up, straightens himself out, and approaches the communal sink.

The reflection in his mirror offers him a small timid smile. But it isn't his face he sees. It's Travis staring back at him.

Something clicks and Kurt breaks out of the memory and stares back at Travis who is standing right in front of him, his right arm back at his side, his face looking up at Kurt wordlessly.

"Help me to understand!" he says quickly, "Why did you bring me here? Why did you do that?"

Travis doesn't answer. He stares off into the space behind Kurt and Kurt turns around to see what he is looking at but when he looks back to question Travis he is gone. Kurt sighs; he has to admit there is something familiar about his surroundings but he can't quite place it. He wishes Travis hadn't left.

When he turns around to stare at his surroundings, he realizes why this place is familiar. There is yellow police tape everywhere.

He is at Peter Eristavi's house. But what is it that Travis wanted Kurt to see this time? He honestly doesn't want to go back in. He can still smell the blood, even from here, as if it's a memory that's been tattooed to his brain.

"I can't," Kurt says softly, "Please don't make me go back in there."

Kurt can feel a rush of wind around him and the gate in front of him swings open. The wind continues its trail to the house where the lights turn on.

"Shit," Kurt says out loud as he tentatively walks towards the light.

When he finally reaches the living room, he has to remind himself to breathe. The sight of the room around him has him frozen in dread.

The blood has been cleaned up quite a bit but the mess still remains. The furniture, which is still upturned from the night Kurt attacked Peter, is now covered in plastic. There is a chalk outline where Peter's body used to lie and more yellow police tape inside the house. The mirror Kurt broke that night remains shattered, shards of glass scattered on the floor underneath it. Muddy footprints from where the cops barged in are all over the floor.

The faded writing on the wall still outlines the mysterious word Kurt wrote there: _Gothika._

Kurt takes it all in not sure what he's meant to be looking for. Around him everything is deathly silent.

Until it isn't.

It's faint at first but when Kurt concentrates he can hear it again. A deep unsettling banging noise seems to be coming from underneath the house.

He's not sure if he's imagining it. Maybe there are raccoons in the basement? He struggles trying to remember if Peter even mentioned having a basement.

He hears the noise again and it feels as if the floor underneath him is vibrating. He puts two and two together and realizes the noise is coming out from under the rug. He gets to his knees and pulls the rug away scanning the straight floor for signs. And then he sees a small hole in the middle of the floor, enough space for two fingers. When he pulls at it, he realizes that what he is in fact staring at is a trap door.

The entrance leads him down some stairs and into a passageway. He can just make out from the moonlight entering the house that there is a switch on the left of him so he turns that on and can see that the passageway he is staring at stretches for miles. He takes a deep breath and keeps walking.

It is cold and dank around him and the passageway slopes downward so that Kurt goes further underground with ever step that he takes. He isn't wearing anything warm and has to bend as he goes further as the ceiling comes close to hitting his head. He can feel the moisture on the wall and he wonders why Peter would have such a strange passageway underneath his house. He looks up to see a pipe above him. When the banging sounds again it travels through the pipe and to the living room in the house where Kurt must have heard it.

As he continues on, water starts to seep in on the floor. A few rats scurry around his feet and to his surprise he doesn't jump. He's had a lot worse scares as of late.

He takes a few more steps until his foot hits a bulk on the floor. A small backpack. When he picks it up to inspect it he takes note of the Transformers kid-themed design. There are some t-shirts and underwear inside the bag and an iPod shuffle and sewn in behind everything is an owner's label that reads: _This bag belongs to Daniel Adams._

Wait, why does that name sound so familiar? Holy crap, he's one of the kids that went missing along with Travis!

"Hello?" Kurt says out loud moving forward even more slowly. The noises start up again. At first, Kurt hears the sounds of chains moving and then it's that deep familiar bang against the pipes. Kurt rushes forward and finally hits a dead end.

It takes him almost three seconds to take in his surroundings.

The floor is covered with bowls of half uneaten porridge and blood. It _smells_ in here far worse than a city gutter. In the corner of the room is a bed with a thin mattress. There is a small tiny person struggling to sit upright on the bed. His hands and feet are covered in chains. He uses the last of his strength to bang against the pipes one last time but when he stares into Kurt's eyes he completely collapses.

He's not easily recognizable but Kurt is sure of one thing. This is Daniel. He's the child that's been missing.

Medical instinct kicks in and Kurt rushes over. He eyes some bolt cutters in another corner of the room and rusty as they are uses them and his strength to free Daniel from the restraints. He hits him clinically trying to get him to wake.

He checks for vital signs, pulse, heartbeat, - "C'mon, Daniel! Wake up!"

Nothing. He slowly comes to the realization that he may be too late. He jumps when he realizes a ladder descend from the middle of the room. A way out. He scoops the thin fragile body into his arms and hopes the walk back to his car from this underground place isn't too far.

There is good and bad news waiting for Kurt when he finds the car. The good news was that with the adrenalin running though his body, the car wasn't far at all. The bad news being that because Kurt abruptly parked in the middle of the road, Sheriff Wes decided to stop by and inspect what any car was doing there at all. Kurt doesn't hesitate.

"Wes! Wes! Please you have to help me!"

Wes spins around fast, tightens the grip on his gun and points his flashlight in Kurt's direction. When he realizes who it is he is shocked.

"Kurt? Aren't you meant to still be in hospital?" he asks stupidly.

Then he notices the small boy in Kurt's arms and his police instinct kicks in. "Okay, listen carefully I'm going to have to ask you to stay right where you are."

Kurt does as he says. For Daniel's sake. He doesn't have much time.

"Okay good," Wes reassures. "Now would you mind telling me who that is?"

"His name is Daniel Adams," Kurt says slowly. "He was reported missing. He's in critical condition and I really need your help, Wes."

Finally Wes can see the truth in Kurt's claim. He nods once and then immediately calls backup.

For the first time in the longest he can remember, Kurt sighs in relief.

~.~


	14. One More Week

BEHIND BLUE EYES

By _paperstylehearts_

**Warnings: **Fiction Rated **M** – See FF for details. THIS FIC CONTAINS MATURE AND ADULT THEMES AND IS NOT SUITABLE FOR MINORS UNDER THE AGE OF THIRTEEN.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Glee or Gothika.

~.~

**A/N: **On January 4th, my BFF and the most awesome gal you could ever meet, **CountingCrow16,** celebrated her birthday! xox Happy Birthday honey, this chapter is for you…!

Also, we are getting really close to the end of this story! CREYS. I'm predicting it will be twenty chapters max give or take a few chapters on each side. I promise I'm going to have a long thank you ass note when this is done. :) Reviews are extremely appreciated! It was on account of all your glowing feedback that I was able to get this chapter out a lot sooner than I normally do! :)

For **CountingCrow16**,

the most amazing friend anyone could wish for.

~.~

Chapter Fourteen

_One More Week_

~.~

_"Blaine?" Kurt asks still in his sleep. He moves his arms blindly beside him and realizes then that his husband is not in their bed. When he checks his cell, the glowing time on his iPhone reveals that it is just past two in the morning. _

_Kurt gingerly steps out of bed and trudges his way through their hallway. After adjusting his eyes to the light, he can see a dim glow emanating from the study den at the very end of where he's standing._

_This must be where Blaine is. _

_He opens the door and sure enough Blaine is there. He's sitting slumped over, his head on the desk, and Kurt wrinkles his nose at the half consumed bottle of liquor beside him. _

_He walks over to Blaine and places a hand on his shoulder. "Blaine? Please come to bed with me. It's late."_

_"I can't," Blaine groans, lifting his head from the desk. It is then that Kurt notices he is cradling a photo of Kurt and Travis. When he sees this, he grows worried._

_"What are you doing that's keeping you up?"_

_His voice sounds too clinical and professional, the same way it does when he talks to a patient and Blaine doesn't answer. Kurt looks over to the computer screen and his face falls as he sees the reports of Travis' death up on the monitor. He sighs. How can he and Blaine be there for each other when clearly Blaine is content to live in a world a million miles away from him?_

_"Blaine, honey, I think it's time that you took a break from this. Like maybe a permanent one." _

_ "What?" Blaine asks, shocked. "How can you say that?" His eyes are puffy and red and swollen, a mixture of both crying and drinking. Kurt's trying not to aggravate him but mostly when Blaine drinks, he's just upset, not angry, so he continues as normal._

_"I'm not telling you to completely forget about it, it's just that it feels like I'm dealing with everything on my own because you can't let go of this. We already know how Travis died and I'm trying very hard to accept that but I need you to do the same... Please."_

_There is a pause. Kurt finally thinks Blaine understands – and then he shakes his head. "No," Blaine says stubbornly. "I can't live in the bubble you've created for yourself. Eight year olds don't just commit suicide, Kurt!"_

_"I know," Kurt agrees, soothingly rubbing circles into Blaine's back. "But our Travis wasn't like other kids, Blaine. He was… he was sick. He was a very depressed child. But that had nothing to do with us, okay? He loved us both very much. There was nothing we could have done."_

_ He's talking like a doctor again and Blaine loses interest. It's so easy for Kurt to slip into a role and not face his feelings but Blaine can't do that. Blaine stares down at the photo in front of him, touching the picture of Travis, as though their son is right there with them. "Why didn't you tell me the truth about the time you kept Travis home from school?"_

_Kurt sighs. They've had this conversation a million times. "Blaine, we've been through this—"_

_"We could have got him help! We could have got someone to talk to him. The irony that you're a renowned psychiatrist but couldn't reach out to our son is laughable, Kurt."_

_Kurt's hand recoils from Blaine like he's been burnt. "Take that back!" He's definitely not talking like a doctor now. "Stop making it look like I didn't care about him! I loved our son more than life itself and you very well know that, Blaine! Take it back! Tell me you don't think that!"_

_Kurt knows he shouldn't get angry. Blaine is drinking, it's not his fault his words are spiteful. Kurt is sure they wouldn't be having this conversation if Blaine were sober. But he can't help feeling hurt by what Blaine is implying. He shouldn't have to deal with this, not when they're both mourning the loss of their son. He's hurting just as much as Blaine is. The only difference is that Kurt's trying to be more mature about it._

_"You wanna know what I think, Kurt?" Blaine snaps, "If you had just told me the truth - Travis would still be here."_

_And that was it. The last straw. Kurt feels like Blaine's words have knocked the wind right out of him. He's surprised but in a very humiliated way. Blaine can't possibly mean what he thinks he does. "You're really blaming me for what happened to our son?"_

_"All I'm saying is that the fact that you're willing to let go of Travis' death so you can attempt to move on with your own life is going to come back and haunt you."_

_Kurt just stands there, numb. He is trying his very best not to cry. "You know what?" he says, ignoring the fact that his voice is choking up in his throat. "I think it's best if you slept on the couch tonight."_

_One week. He's going to give it one week. And then he's going to tell his husband that he's packed his bags._

_A year later, Kurt is still telling himself that he's going to give Blaine one more week._

_~.~_

Sebastian had never seen Blaine so furious. They're on their way by car to the ER after Wes did Blaine a massive favor and called him and briefly explained what had happened with Kurt. But Blaine does not sound like he's happy to be talking to Wes.

"What do you mean you couldn't say anything? Blaine asks angrily. "You should have told me as soon as you knew! That man shouldn't be within fifteen miles of Kurt! Oh just forget it! Sebastian and I will be there soon!"

Sebastian was confused. What was going on? He didn't have to wait long before Blaine promptly hung up on Wes and almost threw his cell on the floor of the vehicle in anger.

"You mind telling me what that was all about, bud?" Sebastian asks still staring at Blaine in awe of his fury. No wonder he was such a good lawyer.

"You wanna know what Robert Eristavi does for a living?" Blaine says, the furiousness in his voice still evident.

"You mean apart from allegedly raping inmates? Isn't he involved with some maintenance at Lima State?"

Blaine shakes his head but it isn't Sebastian he's angry at. "That's what I thought too. Until Wes just told me he's been working undercover."

Sebastian eyes widen in shock. From what he's gathered, Rob was never Blaine and Kurt's friend, not the way Peter was. And now that Kurt's suspected of hurting both his brother and his wife Kurt could be in danger.

When they reach the ER Blaine grabs the first harried nurse he sees. "I'm an attorney - can you tell me where Detective Eristavi is?"

She abruptly breaks his grip and looks offended. "Keep your hands to yourself, _counselor_! How the hell would I know? He's probably taking a piss for all I care!"

She scatters off and Sebastian tries to comfort him. "Look, calm down okay? I'm just as worried as you are but you can't just go around randomly grabbing the first pre-menstrual nurses that walk by you." He gestures towards the counter and whispers hurriedly. "Just let me handle this okay?"

"Hi there," Sebastian says, his voice all sweet and sanguine as he smiles down at the nurse at the counter. She doesn't look up at him nor does she stop typing. Sebastian clears his throat. "Uh, my name is Dr. Smythe, I'm a criminal psychiatrist down at the mental institution and this here is Attorney Anderson. We were wondering if you would be so kind as to let us know the whereabouts of Detective Eristavi? We believed he checked in some patients here earlier."

"Blaine?" says a familiar voice.

"Wes!" Blaine says hurrying over to him. "Where is he?"

Wes throws his hands up in protest. "Look, I understand you're upset, but why don't you just take a seat? Detective Eristavi is with his wife, she's still in a very critical condition…"

"You say my name, Sheriff?"

Rob Eristavi joins them looking like he's an escapee from the criminal institution. "And who do we have here? My, my, Blaine Anderson! Thanks to your joke of an ex-husband, Connie's lying in their fighting for her life! Do you have any idea how many counts Hummel's up against?"

Sebastian's protective instinct kicks in and even though he isn't actively working as a lawyer for Kurt he still hasn't forgotten the law. Blaine looks like he's ready to kill Robert so Sebastian strategically interjects. "There isn't any substantial evidence to that claim!" he argues.

Rob doesn't really look like he cares. "There isn't any evidence because Connie hasn't woken up yet! But I think I have enough now anyway since Hummel admitted to being responsible for injecting the syringe that put her in this goddamned place!"

"You had no right to be questioning my client!" Blaine spits angrily. Wes has to hold him back but his grip is loose and Blaine shrugs him off easily.

"This isn't a courtroom, Anderson!" Rob argued, "Hummel read his rights and still insisted—"

"Sheriff!" Sebastian interrupts turning to Wes desperately, "What exactly was Consuela Eristavi, _a janitor_, doing with several vials of sedatives in Kurt's cell in the first place? For all we know she could have been on drugs herself before—"

"Don't you dare trash talk my wife while she's fighting for her life! Wes, get these guys out of here, they're driving me insane!"

Eristavi storms off presumably to go back to Consuela. Sebastian and Blaine look at each other with worrying concern.

Sebastian places a comforting hand on Blaine's shoulder. "Wes, what exactly happened tonight?"

Wes sighs. "I was on duty when I saw a car parked out in the middle of the road. When I went to investigate I found Kurt cradling a young boy who's been tortured and is in critical condition. Chances are he'll never even utter another word."

"Who's the boy?"

"His name is Daniel Adams. He was on our missing persons list. I found Kurt about half a mile out from Peter Eristavi's house with the boy all messed up. I'm just waiting for the surgeon to give me an update."

Sebastian nodded. _Daniel Adams. _ He was one of the boys from Kurt's articles. "In addition to what Kurt's already up against, what counts is he looking at?"

"At this stage, just trespassing. But I can't guarantee anything especially since Kurt technically broke out of prison and stole a car as well. It's possible he could be facing multiple counts but given the circumstances I'll do what I can."

"Please," Sebastian agrees, his voice almost pleading. Blaine's cell rings and he leaves them to take the call and a drink at the water cooler and Sebastian shuts his eyes for a small moment.

"Sheriff, where is Kurt now?"

"At the station. I had to hold him there, you understand."

"I do," Sebastian nods. "But with all due respect, Kurt needs to get back to the institute. He's not well. He needs psychiatric care in the prison facility we have, not an overnight station cell."

Blaine returns to join them, hands Sebastian a cup, muttering to himself. "Well, that was weird."

"What do you mean?" Sebastian asks, drinking the water in one gulp. He didn't realize how thirsty he was.

"That was Dr. Schuester I was speaking with. Says the Head Nurse Sue Sylvester checked out Brittany Pierce earlier this evening on account of good behavior and that she's currently at the station demanding to speak with Kurt."

~.~


	15. All I'm Asking

BEHIND BLUE EYES

By _paperstylehearts_

**Warnings: **Fiction Rated **M** – See FF for details. THIS FIC CONTAINS MATURE AND ADULT THEMES AND IS NOT SUITABLE FOR MINORS UNDER THE AGE OF THIRTEEN.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Glee or Gothika.

~.~

**IMPORTANT A/N:** I just wanted to point out that there are two scenes in this chapter written in italics because they are flashbacks. Chronologically, the scene at the end of this chapter would have happened before the first scene you're about to read but I had to put them in here specifically like this for reasons. I hope you're not too confused!

For **Nea**, who requested **Kurtbastian **xo I have more of them next chapter too, sweetie!

~.~

Chapter Fifteen

_All I'm Asking_

~.~

_Kurt is crying as Sebastian holds him. He feels so helpless but at the moment he knows he's safe in Sebastian's arms and right now that's all that matters._

_"I don't know what to do, Bas. Blaine isn't the same anymore. Not since…. And he won't let go. And I'm doing my best but that's just not good enough."_

_"Hush," Sebastian whispers. "It's okay. Trust me." He strokes Kurt's hair lightly. "You deserve better than this, you know that right? Your life partner is meant to be the person who is walking beside you, not ten miles behind."_

_Kurt swallows but his throat feels so dry. "I can't leave, Blaine. I love him too much."_

_"I know. But from what you've been telling me he isn't your Blaine anymore." Sebastian's voice turns very quiet. "Maybe Travis isn't the only thing that you need to let go of."_

_As soon as Sebastian says it he feels like he's gone too far. He expects Kurt to recoil from him or hit his chest or yell at him or something but Kurt does none of these things. Instead he holds Sebastian closer._

_"Sometimes I feel like you're the only one who's keeping me together."_

_And hearing him say that is the only hint that Sebastian needs. "You know what? Come out with me tonight, Kurt. Have dinner with me."_

_"I can't—Blaine—"_

_"—will be too out of it to even notice you're gone," Sebastian interrupts. "You deserve a nice night out, Kurt. You deserve someone who's going to look after you."_

_"I don't need looking after," Kurt insists, "I'm not a little kid."_

_"I wasn't trying to imply that. All I'm saying is that day in and day out you're the one who's constantly looking after other people and their problems. And now, with the state of mind that Blaine's in, when you get home, you don't even get a break from that. It's brought you to this breaking point, right in front of me, crying and helpless. So let loose for a while, Kurt. Come to dinner with me."_

_Kurt finally pulls back a little and stares up into Sebastian eyes. "I get what you're saying, I do. I can see the logic in your words and I really appreciate that. But it just doesn't feel right. How can I let myself be happy when Blaine is still so clearly upset? I keep feeling like a horrible psychiatrist. I couldn't help my son and now he's gone and I can't even help my husband and because of that I'm losing him too."_

_Sebastian shakes his head. "You're not a horrible doctor, Kurt. It's not your job to psyche your family. Isn't that the first thing they teach you in college?"_

_It's the first thing Sebastian's said that's earned him a smile from Kurt. "Why are you being so nice to me? I mean I know we're friends and stuff but we're both always so busy and I can't understand why you would waste any time on me."_

_Sebastian shakes his head. He is struck with disbelief every time he has to hear Kurt talk so little of himself. "Do you remember the first time we met?"_

_"Of course," Kurt says, eyebrow raised. "How could I forget? You were hitting on my husband in court. Right in front of me."_

_Sebastian laughs. "Standard procedure. Had to see exactly what kind of guy I was up against. But the flirting only happened because I hadn't met you yet. The protectiveness you had for Blaine in that moment was bitchy yes, but it was also incredibly powerful and passionate."_

_Kurt rolls his eyes. "Geez Bas, if you tell me I move you I swear to God…"_

_Sebastian looks confused for a second but then he just shrugs. "I googled you when I got home. I was really impressed with what I saw. It made me come to the realization that Kurt Hummel was worth it. He was worth having in my life however he wanted me in it. Friend. Colleague. Lover."_

_It's hard for Kurt not to start crying again. He hasn't been spoken to like that in ages. "Bas, I'm really vulnerable right now. I can't promise you anything. I'm just not in the right frame of mind."_

_Sebastian smiles. "All I'm asking is that you come to dinner with me, Kurt. That's all I'm asking."_

_Kurt wants to say that he needs to think about it at the same time that he wants to tell Sebastian thanks but no thanks. But he doesn't say either of those things because in his heart of hearts he has already made his decision._

~.~

It's like Santana and Brittany are the only ones in the rec room even though today it is a lot more crowded than it usually is. The way that they're talking to each other, the way that they're simply looking at each other, is enough to indicate that they don't give a flying fuck about anyone else anyway.

"You understand why I have to do this right?" Brittany whispers to her girlfriend.

Santana nods. "I do, but that doesn't mean I like the idea. What am I going to do without you, Brittany?"

Brittany smiles, "Above all else, I know exactly how self-reliant you are. You will be fine. Besides the Devil can no longer hurt you. Kurt's gonna make sure of that. But he won't be able to help you if I don't help him first. I'll be back for you, I promise."

Her fingers are intertwined with Santana's and she's holding her hand a little tighter than she would normally. She brings a small, soft kiss to her forehead, then her nose, then each of her cheeks before briefly brushing her lips against hers. Then she rests her head on her shoulder and just… breathes.

That is how Becky Jackson finds them when she informs Brittany that it's time.

"Nurse Sylvester will see you now," she says simply before scurrying away. Santana nods to Brittany, they hug once more, and then Brittany is gone.

~.~

Sue was always happy when Brittany requested she meet with her, so when she sent Becky to get her, Sue was expecting it was because the blonde girl would have something interesting to say. The thing was - she always did. It amused Sue and boy, in this place a source of entertainment was like a welcome home to a warm fire after a snowy day. But Brittany really did always have such insightful things to tell her, and as unexplainable as they were, Sue found that just like with every other time that she couldn't wait to hear it.

"Hi, Brittany."

"Hello, Nurse Sylvester."

Sue could never quite get over how out of place Brittany looked in her white vest and sweat pants. This girl wasn't a criminal. She couldn't even hurt a fly because she probably wouldn't know how. She was a little wacky, but not full-blown Lopez crazy that she had to be in this place. She gestured for Brittany to sit in front of her.

"You wanted to see me?"

"Yes," Brittany answers, "I need to go home."

Well there was no question about it. There was no reason why the girl was here in the first place. She hadn't done anything wrong. In fact, she was in a clean fit of health and sane enough to leave but the thing was Sue needed her here. She was her star patient. There was no way she was letting her go.

"Oh really? And why is that?"

"Kurt needs me," Brittany exclaimed quietly.

Sue closed her eyes. The last she had heard, Kurt was being held in the county jail on account of another breakout and the alleged attack and robbery of one of their janitors. From what Sue remembered, Brittany hadn't wanted anything to do with Kurt and now she wanted to check herself out to help him? The kid was so far gone, there _was_ no helping him.

"Brittany, I'm afraid that young Porcelain's got himself in quite of a rut. As good and honest as your intentions are, I don't think there _is_ anything you, or anyone for that matter, can do to help him."

She's about to page Becky to escort Brittany out when, her back turned, Brittany says the last thing Sue ever expected anyone to say.

"The same way you couldn't help Jean?"

Sue freezes right there and then on the spot. Not many words have the power to do that. But right now, the very words that she hears have her still a statue. There's no way Brittany could have guessed that. No one knew about her sister. Jean Sylvester had passed away before Sue had even been appointed here at Lima State.

Sue wants to say something but is it even worth asking Brittany how she knows? The girl has always surprised her since day one. She finds herself choking up.

"Britt-" she says quietly.

"Jean wants you to know that it isn't your fault. It was her time to go. She misses you but she's feels at peace now and she can't wait till you get there because they have _Willy Wonka_ in HD."

Okay, that's it. Even if Brittany looked up some background history on Sue, there was no way she could possibly know _that_.

"I don't know if what I'm seeing is going to help Kurt. But if what I've seen so far has helped you at all in any way, then Nurse you need to let me leave. Santana probably wants me to stay here even more than you do and even she agrees that I need to share what I've been seeing so I can help. I'm really sorry about your sister but you need to let me go… Will you do that for me? Will you sign my papers?"

~.~

_"Kurt?" Blaine asks, holding a bill from the school in his hand. "Have you been dropping Travis to school again?"_

_Kurt wants to say no but when he realizes Blaine is holding a bill from the school he knows straightaway that Blaine can see there is no record there that Travis has been catching the school bus. So he shrugs and decides to admit it. "Yes, okay, I have been taking him to school… Look, he's not used to the bus yet Blaine. And to be honest with you, I would be picking him up from school too but Will needs me to stay back late so I've asked Peter to help out today."_

_Blaine sighs. "How is Travis ever going to get used to going and coming home on his own if you keep making exceptions for him? For God's sake Kurt, the bus stop is fifteen hundred feet from the house!"_

_"I know you don't agree with me but I'm going to continue to drop him off and pick him up for as long as it takes, okay? One day, he's going to be too old to even want to be seen with us. But he's only seven, Blaine. He's still adjusting to having a life outside the orphanage. I think we need to be more patient with him."_

_Blaine stares at his watch. He's already running late for work and he's got a big case coming up. "We'll talk more about this later, okay?"_

_He kisses Kurt on the cheek and hurries out the door._

_When Travis is finally let out for the day he is really surprised to see his Uncle Peter there standing and waiting for him with a big smile on his face._

_"Hey champ! How was school?"_

_"Hey Uncle Pete! It was good!" Travis says. "I found out my new friend Mikey likes Star Wars too." Travis looks around and notices that Papa Kurt is nowhere to be seen. "Are we going somewhere Uncle Pete?"_

_Travis likes his Uncle Peter. He is funny and smart and whenever his Daddy and Papa go over to his house he always sneaks a whole bunch of dollar bills into his hand when no one is looking._

_"Yes, we are! I'm taking you home today! Although before we start, I need you to do something very important for me, okay?"_

_"Okay, sure! What can I do?"_

_Peter smiles and crouching low puts a hand on Travis' shoulder. "Don't tell Daddy."_

~.~


	16. 020799

BEHIND BLUE EYES

By _paperstylehearts_

**Warnings: **Fiction Rated **M** – See FF for details. THIS FIC CONTAINS MATURE AND ADULT THEMES AND IS NOT SUITABLE FOR MINORS UNDER THE AGE OF THIRTEEN.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Glee or Gothika.

~.~

**A/N:** I apologize for the delay. I truly wish I could say something exciting was keeping me away from writing- but it's just been RL drama in the way. Thank you all so much for your kind words. You are all truly an inspiration to me and the coal that keeps the fire burning. Without you, there would be no story. I look forward to seeing what you think of this chapter.

This chapter will be shorter than the rest because it's been sitting exactly like this on my computer for about a month since the middle of January and I figured I might as well post what I had instead of making y'all wait around for something that I hadn't had time to work on. Sorry!

~.~

Chapter Sixteen

_020799_

~.~

The inside of Kurt's cell looks like it's been designed to star in a cheap made for television movie. Under normal circumstances, he'd be worried about the thread count of the thin sheet that lies on the seemingly thinner pee-stained mattress. It obviously hasn't even been changed in years, but right now all it is reminding him of, is the fact that this bed looks too similar to the one he found Daniel lying on only hours earlier. And that isn't a comforting thought at all.

Kurt felt like Blaine had been right all along. Letting go of the possibility that something had happened to Travis had really come back to haunt him. Kurt knew he was bordering on dangerous territory as he allowed himself to think this, but he was upset, and he was finding it increasingly hard to stop feeling anything but. He felt he deserved to be miserable for making such a stupid mistake.

Kurt paid no attention to the officers patrolling the corridors even though it was only him and one other anonymous drunkard being held that night. Nor did he pay any attention when Officer Trent came right up to his cell and tapped at the bars.

"Kurt Hummel?" he said, and Kurt finally looked at him. "You have a visitor."

Wordlessly, Kurt followed Officer Trent into a bare room. There were only two possibilities of who would be here to see him. Either it was Sebastian, ready to bail him out, or Blaine had come since he was Kurt's lawyer, but Kurt would soon find out that he was wrong on both accounts.

Who he doesn't expect to see, who is in fact waiting for him there, is Brittany Pierce.

Trent stands guard by the door, but there are glass panes everywhere and absolutely no privacy at all so he really doesn't know what he's hoping to achieve by standing there.

Brittany is sitting at a desk in the centre of the room across from him, in a white blouse and denim skirt. Her hair is loose by her shoulders and she is wearing a little make up. There is no way to tell that she had just been in a criminal mental institute but the real question is – how did she get out?

"Brittany?" Kurt says quietly, breaking the silence. There's so much he's asking her by saying her name but it remains, for the time being, unspoken between them.

"Hi, Kurt." She offers him a small smile. "I would ask you how you're feeling but that doesn't seem very appropriate."

Kurt nods, trying to make sense of the present situation. "What are you doing here?"

The question confuses her as if the answer weren't something already so obvious. "I came to see you."

"Well. I can see that. But how did you manage to get out of there? How did you leave Lima State?"

She shrugs. "Oh, that was easy. Sue gave me the all clear and said I could come back whenever I like. Santana was the only reason I was there so I won't need to be there again unless she needs me. She understands though, why it is I had to leave to come see you." She pauses ever so slightly. "I've been having nightmares."

Her voice sounds small, scared even, but Kurt is unfazed. "Welcome to my world."

He's not really looking at her but it's not that Kurt isn't paying Brittany any attention. It's that even now, out of his cell, he is still struggling to come to terms with his discovery of Daniel under Peter's house. Every time he thinks about how that is connected to the countless other children, mainly Travis, he feels like he wants to throw up. And not in the way he did when he discovered he'd murdered Peter. This was different.

"I just want you to know that you are an excellent doctor. You are the epitome of everything that is unicorn and rainbows and I love you."

Kurt is surprisingly touched. That's got to be the sweetest, most serious thing that she has ever told him. It softens him up slightly. "Thanks Britt. And look, I'm sorry that you're having nightmares. I'd be happy to counsel you but under the circumstances I don't think my schedule will be free for a while."

There is a pause. Brittany is staring right through Kurt again and the way she is looking at him sends a chill through his spine. He shudders and turns away.

"He's not here," Brittany says.

"Who?" Kurt asks, though he has a thought to who she might mean.

"Travis. I can't see him. He must have gone to visit Daniel."

Kurt doesn't even think twice about how she knows about Daniel. "Is he going to be okay?" Kurt asks quietly.

"I don't know," Brittany admits honestly, "I can't really see much when I can't see Travis… Can I show you something?"

Kurt nods. Brittany takes out a folded piece of paper from within her handbag and lays it face down on the desk.

"I've been envisioning this recurring scene for a while now. In my dream, I see Travis but I also see you. In the nightmare, we're standing in a bank in Westerville. Travis is holding a box and he keeps repeating a series of numbers…"

Under normal circumstances, Kurt's instinct would definitely be to send Brittany to see someone. But the curiosity gets the better of him and he keeps quiet.

"…every night, it's the same box in his hand, and the same numbers. I wrote them down."

Brittany slides the paper across. Kurt watches carefully, then looks at the piece of paper.

0 – 2 – 0 – 7 – 9 – 9

"It's a message," Brittany explains. "I don't know what it means but I think he wanted you to have it."

Kurt studies the paper. Then he stares back at Brittany realizing something very important. "It's a date. February the seventh, 1999. It's the day Travis was born."

Kurt thinks about what this might mean. Who would have a safety deposit box with the code to open it as Travis' birthday? Then he remembers…

"Peter Eristavi was my friend. He had a safety deposit box in a bank in Westerville. He suggested the idea to me once when Blaine and I had some documents for the adoption that we needed to keep safe, some college funds for Travis and a few other things. I think this code might belong to his deposit box. Brittany, I need you to find Blaine, get to Westerville, and open that box. Can you do that for me?"

Brittany stares at Kurt for the longest time. Then she simply nods.

"Okay," she says. "I'll do it."

~.~

_Kurt goes to the dinner with Sebastian. _

_Two weeks later, he breaks the news to Blaine that he's leaving him. And not that he had progressed anywhere along the lines of adultery, but Kurt also tells Blaine about Sebastian. Blaine doesn't take it well. He had once cheated on Kurt, but it was a long time ago, yet even now he still has the nerve to tell Kurt that this is him getting even. But Kurt doesn't agree. He would never cheat on Blaine. The cold truth was that they were long over before Sebastian even came into the picture. When Blaine has time to truly think this over, he'll understand._

_Three weeks later, he tells Sebastian that there are certain conditions to their… whatever it is that's going on… whether he likes it or not._

_"All right, first things first. I'm not sleeping with you. I'm just not ready for that. Besides, I'm technically still married to Blaine so that would still be cheating."_

_Sebastian shrugs. "Your loss."_

_"And secondly - I'm not ready to go public with our relationship. We're both very renowned in each of our fields and I don't think it's anyone's business to know that we're exclusive. It might impair their decision to hire us and I can't risk that. Also, my boss at Lima State is an old family friend and since Blaine and I aren't officially divorced yet…"_

_"It's fine, babe. No one needs to know," Sebastian confirms. He reaches out and holds Kurt's hand gently. _

_Kurt squeezes back. "Well no one except Blaine," he adds. "I wanted to do right by him so I told him. I'd rather he hear it first hand from me then second hand from anyone else. Which brings me to the third thing. Blaine and I are in the process of becoming legally separated and we haven't as yet told anyone about our decision so you and me, we need to be discrete."_

_"Okay," Sebastian agrees. "Sneaking around, I like it. Now do me a favor and seal my lips for me please?"_

_ Kurt shakes his head but only because he's going to have to get used to Sebastian's cheesiness. But he doesn't think he's ever going to get used to kissing him. When their lips connect it's like his whole body is on fire. For the first time since Travis died, Kurt finally feels alive again. He hates that he has to run around and hide it but he knows that eventually, it will all be worth it. Because Sebastian is._

~.~

Sebastian hurries down the front steps of Lima State just as the police cruiser pulls up. It takes him a moment to realize that he has been holding his breath. He stops just in front of the car just as Officer Trent and Detective Eristavi exit out of the vehicle, finally followed by Kurt. His hands are tied behind his back with cuffs.

Sebastian's heart skips a beat. He has never seen anything look more devastatingly wrong. "Were those security measures really that necessary?"

"Don't even think of questioning my methods, Doc." Rob says less than enthusiastically, "You're talking about the man who killed my brother in cold blood."

Sebastian tries to remain civil and crosses his arms to restrain himself. "Well, at any rate, those cuffs are not required here."

"They are until Hummel is locked up by your people in one of them cells."

Sebastian turns to Kurt ever so slightly. Kurt's eyes are downcast but Sebastian can still read the ever so slight nod that he makes.

"Fine."

"I need to get back to the hospital," Rob informs, "to tend to my wife. But Trent here is going to ensure that Hummel remains cuffed the entire way. Since your people managed to let him escape. Twice. Enjoy having your pet back, Smythe."

Just as Sebastian is about to let loose at Rob, he feels a hand on his arm behind him and turns to see Beiste standing there, also awaiting to escort Kurt back to his cell. "He's not worth it, punkin," she whispers. "C'mon, I'll walk with the officer. You keep Kurt safe."

When Sebastian turns back, Rob is already gone. He turns to Beiste and nods. Despite Robert's implications about the nature of his and Kurt's relationship he has to respect the fact that Beiste held him back. She probably just stopped him from making a mistake.

~.~


End file.
